Firstly first this is my very first time to give a comment here since i usually a kind of passive reader here?hehe and please please excuse my english or grammar mistake cause my english is not that good, sorry. But why i brave myself despite my bad english want to give a comment here because i kind of experienced this kind of relationship by myself. Well not to the point until sex scene though.
So i was in my college when i fell in love with my friend who is same sex gender. And i am straight. She is too. But i dont know how this feeling develop between us. its just i fall in love with her. she is kind of manly or butchy-in lesbian term (?) and maybe i kind of longing for someone that can take care of me and give a manly aura around them. I had a boyfriend before but he is not that manly as her for god sake lol. Even my friend's boyfi also said that she is like a boy and manly. So thats maybe i fall in love with her. But like i said before im straight and i think that feeling for her is so wrong for me. It just not right. We are kind of know each other feeling. She even said you love me/like me right? But i prefer to not answer it and take that as a joke. But God knows how my heart gonna explode at that time and how awkward the situation.
It was her who always have a courage to push this relationship a little higher, like we often go out together at night or in satnite, and at that time she even had a boy that like her and hit on her and he asked her to go out at saturday night but she turned his offered down and asked me instead to go out with her spending the night together in the lake in the city. She always said sweet things to me, like i like you you know, or dont do that kind stuff or i will fall in love with you even deeper from now, and she always take care of me, carresed my hair, pat my hair, hold my hand, that kind of couple things. And my heart sure go crazy with that. When she always sweet to me, in the other hand i always moody with her. Like this day i really want to see her, miss her, longing for her touch, but in the other day i kind of hate her for doing that, hate her for this kind relationship between us, hate this feeling for her. I wonder if thats like Souichi's feeling here haha
Im so moody, and in the end it always felt so wrong for me, this is not right, i felt disgust with me, us. And fyi i really dont mind or offended with gay people, its their right their bussines so im really fine with that. I even have a gay friend and perfectly fine with that, and somehow i find that they are interesting in a good meaning here. But maybe because im totally straight so that i found this relationship between us is disgusting. And now we both have graduated for college, she found a job back in her hometown and she still message or call me saying i miss you, dont you miss me, or lets go out together this weekend, that kind of stuff. But i always deny this feeling. I answer her once a while, but i cant lie to my heart that i still miss her and longing for her.
And with that, i kind of understand how Shouichi's feeling in this manga. Well maybe in my point of view myself haha, but seriously when i read this manga it really remind me of my forbidden feeling when i was in a college haha. Wew i should give a comment about this manga and here i am telling everyone about my story instead, sorry people..but i cant help it cause it feels like this manga really portrayed how i felt back then. Again sorry for my bad english ><