Quote from Liria

Quote from jinx_you

But in all honestly, a marriage is no different from a relationship before marriage in my opinion.

You have to have lived with the person before marriage for that to be entirely true.

Oh without a doubt should you live with someone before marriage. People don't seems to realize that is just as important. There's things about your significant other that you don't find out until you've moved in with one another. I'm not saying the person changes (though in some cases it actually happens) but people don't seem to understand that there's also an "at home personality/traits." You're not going to be aware of these until you're actually living with someone on a constant basis. So there may be a lot of things you can't stand which can put a strain on a marriage.

If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

Yes I know this thread is old, and may or may not be relevant to the OP anymore, but it may be something for someone else to read if they are considering marriage.

1. What makes a marriage "work," in your opinion?
   Communication, Intimacy, and Honesty ( I mean this more to no lies or secrets. Yes, even white lies)

2. What makes a marriage happy?
   ... plenty of "Intimacy"

3. In your opinion, what places the most pressure on a marriage? (e.g. financial difficulty, relationship with the in-laws, children, less time together, sexual issues, etc.)
   The most pressure hmmm it's a tie between financial difficulties, and children. Money problems for obvious mostly because it makes you more snappy, and stresses both of you, and when you're stressed out you don't have the patience to deal with other people. Children - It's not just different points of views on how to raise them when it comes to certain matters. Not sure how to explain it ... they put a huge strain on the relationship that I fear some don't survive, but those who do find that the relationship is much stronger than before.

4. Are you happier married than you were unmarried?
   I'm happier married.

5. What are most of your marital arguments about, and how do you solve them? Also, how do you argue? (e.g. shouting, sitting down and discussing things, giving/receiving the silent treatment, throwing things, leaving the house for some time, asking a third party for advice/mediation, etc.)
   I can't recall my trivial arguments with my husband ... it's one of those it was so small you forgot what you were fighting about things. How do we solve these fights? Of course there's the yelling, and the "whatever" then one of us leaves the room. Oh and sometimes sex.
   For more serious arguments we sit next to each other face to face, and talk ... a lot. It's normally my turn your turn. Whenever it's someone's turn you can't talk and you have to listen.

6. How long have you been married for, and do you still want to stay married to this person for the rest of your life?
   Let's say 7 years ... although technically it's a bit less >.>
   Yes, I want to stay married for the rest of my life. I even told my husband you're never getting rid of me. ( Referring to a divorce.)

7. Have you or your spouse ever had or ever considered having an affair? If so, why? (Or why not?)
   Yes, have considered and affair. We were both virgins when we got together so it's one of those free passes sort of thing because of curiosity. ( Which this talk lead to other talks .... )
   Wait would you still call it an affair if permission was given first?

8. What are your regrets in the marriage or in your own conduct in the marriage? (e.g. is there something you feel you could have done better or are working on doing better, or you wish your spouse did better?)
   No regrets in past actions. I always think you should strive to be a better spouse, thus I do so.

9. What are the best or most cherished moments in your marriage? And what are your fondest memories?
   Too many to list.

10. Describe your basic feelings towards your spouse - positive, negative, ambivalent, anything you feel.
    Content/happy. I guess overall it's a very comfortable feeling. Comfort to the point where I feel tranquil, and fuzzy. (warm and fuzzy that is)

11. Does one spouse end up compromising more often than the other? Why or why not?
    I think he does probably because he spoils me.

12. What has marriage taught you about life and people and relationships in general?
    I'll come back to you on this some other time.

If you can, you may also tell me how you met your spouse, how you got married, whether you still celebrate your anniversaries, basically anything you want to say.

• We met in high school he was a friend of what was my current boyfriend ...
  We got married in court, just the two of us. (not we didn't elope, we were engaged for a long time).
  As for anniversaries ... it doesn't if we have enough money or not if we celebrate, otherwise it's just saying happy anniversary, a nice dinner (homemade), and s__.
  Marriage is A LOT of work. Overall I think it's worth it, but if for some reason I'm not with my husband anymore I would never get married again. Just no, once is enough of an experience for me. It may be because my relationship with my husband is both dysfunctional and stable. We really are messed up to each other, and in a loving way too. That's what works out for us.
  My only advice - You have to remember to be one, but also two. Meaning be one as a couple, and take into account your spouse in everything you do, but don't forgot who you are. Stay true to yourself, and don't change to the point where we became he(spouse) where you lost me.

Yes yes, I know I make longwinded comments, but that's just me >.<
I should proof read my comments more, but I won't...
So keep in mind I'm filled with typos

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