i wouldn't like it if my parents were to divorce. but i keep thinking. what is best? the parents staying together for the sake of the children or get a divorce?

whatever

Quote from monika

i wouldn't like it if my parents were to divorce. but i keep thinking. what is best? the parents staying together for the sake of the children or get a divorce?

My parents have never cheated, that I know of, but i'd rather them be divorced than together and misrable. I think if the parents are unhappy the children will be unhappy too.

Save a Starving Artist - Feed them Ramen

I won't jump onto the topic of raising children, but to the topic of cheating.

Cheating on somebody isn't nice. Relationships are greedy bastards, you want your partner for yourself, and yourself only. ( this is of course all my opinion ) The real pain from being cheated on is the break of trust. The person who was cheated on has to face the fact that he judged the cheater wrongly, and that he can not be sure about anything connected to him/her. Trust is down the drain, everything has to be built up from scratch, some wounds never heal.

However, the Cheater isn't necesarily in any better shape. ( as long as feelings are invested in the relationship of course, if the relationship doesn't involve feelings things are different ) I talked to 3 friends who cheated that were in pretty bad shape. They were dissapointed about themselves, knew that they were going to hurt at least their partner, and possibly the person they slept with. They had the burden to either be truthfull and possibly ruin something good, or lie and preserve something good, but if its good why did they cheat? One of my friends that cheated on his/her partner came clean and the relationship got back on track, but the cheater had a bigger problem getting over it than the one cheated on.
However, i have friends who have cheated and didn't regret it or stop.

What i am just trying to say is, when relationships and emotions are involved nothing is ever clear cut, so their is no rule about cheating.

personally, i think it should be avoided as much as possible

I think Bully has a real good point in this. Trust is the main thing at stake and can not ever truly be regained.

If you are in a serious committed relationship, or you're just a kid who has a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' that they make out with, cheating is still a very very bad thing.

I do think there may be a bit of a double standard when it comes to married cheaters. Unless there is some kind of pre-nuptial agreement in place or something, the wife is likely to forgive the husband and try and find ways to repair the relationship. On the other hand, if the wife is the one who cheated, she's most likely gonna get her ass served to her. At least, that is how it would probably go down in my marriage...and if my hubby cheated I'd most likely think it was some fault of my own. Weird. But true.

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I believe cheating means your relationship isn't working out. I mean isn't that why you are cheating in the first place? To get rid of the same old and go for something new? Don't stone me now. Cheating is perfectly allowed when your heart is truly set on that third wheel. Let's face it, we aren't angels. Born in lust, turn to dust.

[born in sin, come on in!]

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Quote from ares6

I believe cheating means your relationship isn't working out. I mean isn't that why you are cheating in the first place? To get rid of the same old and go for something new? Don't stone me now.

Then adding cheating to the mix is making an even bigger mess with a knotted up ball of yarn. That person might be cheating to get away from the problem (even though the person is making a bigger problem) The second person that person 1 cheated with might not be just, as you mentioned indirectly here, be a person that was just a fling. The person that got involved with the cheater wasn't a prize but the new person has to deal with the break up with the relationship while being involved with the person. And what kind of person gets involved into a person that's cheating on his or her spouse? Although, the cheater could con the other person into thinking that he or she is going to leave his or her spouse. This woman on Dr. Phil admitted that she was "the other woman" for about 10 years and she got involved with the guy when she was 20, so she wasted a lot her young life waiting/expecting/hoping for this guy to leave his wife. That's sad, and even pathetic. Dr. Phil didn't have to use his mean "wake-up" call method and she got the smarts to dump the two-timer (I guess by the "intervention") and quit wasting her life and time on him.

And about what chueisha said about this boy that's been getting away with using all these girls, I guess this guy is going to be like that guy I saw on Murray that knocked up 9 women. And the sad thing is, there are some girls that are idiotic enough that even with this guy's track record, of 3 knocked up girls that he probably cheated on and then dumped (she couldn't have been totally blinded to it in school unless she just didn't want to hear it at all), that do get involved with him. I guess this guy gets to learn women can be manipulated like puppets, sadly, although he could be a really smooth-talker too. 😔 But maybe fate has something in store for him with his relationship karma, although getting him pregnant isn't possible.

Quote from ares6

Cheating is perfectly allowed when your heart is truly set on that third wheel.

😲 Uhh, yeah. I'll make sure to avoid guys that give me that comment for real relationships. 🤣 I guess you'd approve of that woman that I saw for this commercial for a documentary/interview of this woman that cheated on her husband and then left him for the guy that she cheated on her husband with, and she said that she didn't care what other people think. Maybe I gave her my approval, but really I don't want to because then that means I respected her. 😲 🙄 😔 And also I wouldn't want to talk to her if I met her.

Quote from ares6

Let's face it, we aren't angels. Born in lust, turn to dust.
[born in sin, come on in!]

We aren't angels, but saying it's "perfectly allowed" for cheating certainly does not get my seal of approval. If I had one, that is.

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Hey man, I'm just saying. Cheating is good when it comes to finding your true love other than your wife. Say you married your wife for sex, or money, or whatever other than love. Then 5 years later, you meet a woman who you think you are destined to be with. In that case, a loop hole is created to allow this married man to escape the dimension of eternal damnation with his wife and go to the person he loves. Of course the man will have to take responsibilities by law, but you know. And woman can do the same. So can lesbian couples and gay couples, even intersexuals coupled.

Sinners can't be choosers. And besides, Dr. Pill hosts a TV show. He's NOT a real psychiatrists.
hehe, Dr. Pill. Isn't it funny?

may contain offensive languages of Dr. Pill:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6gep9VK9RQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQlhyxhs5FU

[color=green]Life, what would it be without so much wrongs and rights?
[/color]

[color=red]Star Trek XI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZiR-NETDr0[/color]

People that cheat aren't always doing it out of pure selfishness or evilness or lust or just plain lack of controll. The following example really happend.

     Girl and Guy get together, girl is unsure how committed He is to the relationship, Boy doesn't want to lie and be all over optimistic and love dumm. Girl is afraid of being in a one sided relationship with a guy and being hurt when she gets dumped, so she cheats with somebody to prove to herself that she isn't dependent and can decide for herself. 

             That the whole thing backfired and she felt like shit afterwards doesn't matter, just that there are ways for people to end up cheating without bad intentions. Insecurities, "Is she perfect for me?", fear of comittment, wanting to helo somebody, missunderstandings, ............ and more. 

@heardtheowl,
just wondering why you think women would be more likely to forgive their men than the otherway round. Not that i say your wrong, just wonderd why you think that way.

And then there is accidental cheating, like when I was taking a bath and then this girl walked into the bathroom and pulled her pants down to use the potty and she didn't realize I was there, and then I slipped and fell on her. I hurt my back and ended up with a priapism and then the puzzle pieces interlocked.

You know, like accidentally.

Life is tough......but it's tougher if you're stupid.
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Quote from vinceasuma

And then there is accidental cheating, like when I was taking a bath and then this girl walked into the bathroom and pulled her pants down to use the potty and she didn't realize I was there, and then I slipped and fell on her. I hurt my back and ended up with a priapism and then the puzzle pieces interlocked.

You know, like accidentally.

how is that "cheating"? if it's accidents.... then it is.. if your girlfriend catch you then it is misunderstanding... so yeah, that doesn't count as cheating unless your mind and action was.. cheating x]

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Detective Horror Series

Tracker BakaBT

Not that that actually happened (pretty far fetched IMO) but do actions speak louder than words (or intentions)? I mean, you can go to jail for life for killing someone even if it was an accident.

Life is tough......but it's tougher if you're stupid.
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Not if you are mental or have problems that require going to the hospital 😉 They'll just put you in the hospital and then let you out once they found out that you are fine...

But cheating is different from something so big as to kill someone's life.. like if you cheat and your girlfriend commit suicide -_- do you go to jail after?...

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Detective Horror Series

Tracker BakaBT

Ahh...Cheating is a loop hole. It's not a teleporter you use everyday. Once a while and when the situation fits. If humans are animals after all who are all driven by sex, then cheating is logical. You don't see a dog staying with the same dog every year.....

[color=green]Life, what would it be without so much wrongs and rights?
[/color]

[color=red]Star Trek XI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZiR-NETDr0[/color]

Cheating effects all parties. i've seen friends and the like cheat and it's not something i can deem as a smart choice to make.

my parents divorced when i was younger. around the time my sister was born. of course she has a different father and skin tone. it's one of those taboo's that was never talked about. not that that was the only reason for the divorce but cheating can have major effects especially depending on how it is revealed to others.

not that i don't love my sister but sometimes when i think about our relation i get to thinking "why" in terms of the reason it all came about. i don't feel that there is any true reason that someone who supposedly cares for their partner should cheat.

"cheating" in my opinion refers to going behind ones partners back. i don't think anyone who is unstable enough to commit in a relationship should be dating in the first place.

in any case people cheat for different reasons. it doesn't change the fact that they are stupid. no cheater wants to be cheated on. so why do it in the first place?

being a slut doesn't require being in a relationship. forms of birth control are available after all.

HUBBY of DUBBY

Quote from ares6

If humans are animals after all who are all driven by sex, then cheating is logical. You don't see a dog staying with the same dog every year.....

Actually, dogs' social behavior are not monoganous, in fact one litter of one mother can have several fathers. However, there are many species in the animal kingdom that are monogamous for one mating season, and even for life. Many bird species like birds of prey and Canadian geese mate for life, as well as mammals like prarie dogs I think and some monkey species. There are more, but I can't think off the top of my head.
And yes, humans are animals, but we are the only species that has a thinking brain and can understand complex cause and effect relationships and can understand why we do things. We have free will and choice, not ruled by strictly hormones and phermones.