Can men and women truly be friends? -
After thinking about the movie When Harry met Sally

Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Combined with all this manga I've been reading where someone has a lover, but starts getting close to a friend to only have that friend try something at some point (that was a lot of somes ...).
Also combined with what I've observed in RL with friends in relationships and how many they have of the other gender predating, and while dating.

(This topic would also be applies to gay/bi-sexual people - Would you say you can truly be friends with the same gender you are attracted to?) Hmm maybe I should have named the topic that instead...

[color=green]Can you truly be friends with someone of the same gender that you're attracted to?[/color]

I would say no for the most part. I do think sex would get in the way. Yes you can be friends to a certain extent, but again I would think no. Probably because I think anyone can fall in love with anyone (whether it would work out or not, that's a different matter). Rarrr I'm not writing this clear enough. Don't mind my comment I'll fix it later. I have to start cleaning after making this thread >.>

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I think that it is possible for certain people. In my case however it might start out as friendship but I think after time romantic feelings would probably develop. If I find somebody I can get along with and also be comfortable around that's pretty rare.

If that person happens to be a female they would be qualified to be a good mate in my eyes because we could get along and have things in common with each other.So I think it's not surprising that one would be inclined to develop feelings for somebody in that situation.

Basically anybody I am a friend with would have qualities that makes them desirable to me in some way.

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I think so. It might not work for everyone but there are lots of cases where it works. Besides, just because there's the possibility of romantic/sexual attraction doesn't mean it invalidates a friendship. When there's really no such thing as a perfect friendship, what can you consider "truly being friends" anyway?

Bottom line, sure it can get in the way in some cases but that doesn't mean perfectly valid friendships can't happen.

Well, gay men and women can be friends pretty easily, that's why other.

It's possible sometimes, but might be a bit hard, because that's just how human sexuality works.

It's possible, as long as both party are not sexually attracted to each other. And yes, this could happen between heterosexual man and heterosexual woman. Granted, its pretty rare, but hey, it's possible. But of course, someone would find it easier to befriend someone with the same sex, as they are assured that the other party won't be sexually attracted to her/him.

Yes they can.

But I choose Depends, because it really is depend on the men and women.
Not every men and women can, but some certainly can. hetero or not.

Of course. Friendship shouldn't be restricted just because of such a petty thing. Gender shouldn't need to be the basis of friendship because it's what inside that counts.

But who hasn't fantasized at least once about having a relationship or sex with your friend of the opposite sex? It doesn't mean you want to make a pass at them in real life, it's just curiosity. That's just human nature and there's nothing wrong with it. It's when you make a pass in real life and your friend's partner gets upset and all Hell breaks loose... That's when it becomes wrong, it's a self control issue. But that's taking it to the extreme.

Also, some people get their emotions mixed up when their friend is of the opposite sex which is the big issue. Almost as if their gender blind them. They can't distinguish their feelings, if it's 'friend love' or more than that. There's different types of love such as love for your family/friends and then intimate love (with a partner), but they're two separate entities. This all has to do with human emotions, sexuality, and gender.

But if friendships go to the next level, that's great. I think it's important to establish a friendship before an intimate relationship. Those are the ones that last the longest. Just so long as you're both single or have partner's consent to have an open relationship, then no harm can be done.

*Beavis: "Wait, what's pornography?"
Butt-head: "Uhh.. I think that's like, the study of porn." *

If its the first question (Can men and women truly be friends?) I think this is an obvious yes.

If its the second question (Can you be friends with someone that you are attracted to?), I think that it is possible for some people but not for all. In high school, I was friends with this guy I was really attracted to. I never admitted to liking him (although a couple of people figured it out, I denied it) because I knew I wasn't his type. He eventually ended up dating my best friend and I still remained friends with him. To me, it wasn't that big of a deal because I knew that he and my friend made a great couple, and he was a good friend to me. But other people may not of been able to handle that situation.

I think things may be different if one person is at a point where they can't imagine being friends anymore because all they want is to be that person's lover.

Quote from KaoriNite

If its the second question (Can you be friends with someone that you are attracted to?), I think that it is possible for some people but not for all. In high school, I was friends with this guy I was really attracted to. I never admitted to liking him (although a couple of people figured it out, I denied it) because I knew I wasn't his type. He eventually ended up dating my best friend and I still remained friends with him. To me, it wasn't that big of a deal because I knew that he and my friend made a great couple, and he was a good friend to me. But other people may not of been able to handle that situation.

Funnily enough I went through something similar. The two of them are still dating and are still, to this day, two friends I hold very dear to me. I'm still awesome friends with the guy. I'm over him now, but my attraction to him earlier didn't hinder our friendship. Never once did our friendship waver. So yes, you can be friends to someone you're attracted to. I agree that it's possible for only some people though.

I voted "Depends/Other" lol My best friend is my husband. I can talk to him about anything and I mean ANYTHING 😀 I'm not missing out on having other friends, but sometimes it would be nice to have them. I have "Casual friends" just not real close friends. ah well..lol

"We are what we believe we are."
C. S. Lewis

Oh, this is not really that hard to answer. For me it is a clear yes, and I know this case applies to many people however it's not so simple. I don't think sexuality is such a big issue I'm serious here, it obviously depends on the group of friends I guess ...

However in my case, I'm friends with a big group of friends that involve many people, and majority are guys. There have never been such issues between us as we are all more or less great friends - by this I don't mean casual, and some whom I are even closer with.

There is this ONE guy though, out of them all that I kind of have feelings for but after telling him we were both able to move on from this, still remaining good friends. But, I have to notify is not really cause Im attracted to like his gender only or so to say, haha but like his personality (I'm more of a personality person, rather than physique that much & gender, as I swing both ways...)

So, people can say impossible as much as they want. I've even slept in same bed with guy & girlfriends without there being anything sexual there. 😀

It depends on the person. I have no trouble with it, but I've met many guys who did. I'm going to throw a generalization out there and suggest that it's easier for women than for guys.

I love that movie though. 😛

Yes, most certainly! Not even really depends, because honestly, I don't really view sexual tension or whatever as being in any way detrimental to a friendship.

And besides, if the answer was a "no", that'd mean that bisexual people can't have friends 😢

I don't see why not. I mean, I'm in a male dominated field and when I was in school there was always 2-3 females and 8 males every year. I mean, one or two couples formed but for the most part, both sides couldn't see the others as "females" or "males", they were just...them. Course, if the intention from the beginning is romantic, it's much harder. You can be great friends but if from the start, that one person can only think of you romantically and the other person doesn't, it's just a stab of pain everytime you see the person. Some people can let the feelings die, others can't.

Butt ugly guy and a butt ugly girl, both not attracted to each other. Possible.

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I believe in letting people do as they wish, as do I myself. Sometimes, of course, what I wish to do is kill them and they do not wish to die. This gives life interest.
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