I just made an account to comment on this, because I think some people missed the point. This manga is…okay, actually, context first. I started reading this at 14, and for a young Asexual with hormonal issues and sexual confusion I thought this manga was phenomenal. It was horny and I loved it. Growing up? The shit I found as sexy back then is some of the creepiest bits of this manga now. But I think that might be a good thing.
People keep making Morinaga out to be the only bad person in this relationship. He’s not. They’re both terrible in the beginning. Shouichi knew Morinaga was gay long before the rape scene. If you remember, he was actively beating him up regularly because he was mad his little brother eloped with his boyfriend to California. He was taking his aggression out on Morinaga, but Morinaga put up with it because he thought Shouichi was amazing and loved him too much to resent him for it. Then Shouichi accidentally takes that drug when they were drinking, and yes, Morinaga rapes him. That is 100 percent fucked up and very much puts him in the wrong, but it doesn’t retroactively put Shouichi in the right for the stuff he pulled before. Also, Morinaga regrets it. He packs his belongings and leaves, intended to let Shouichi move on without him. Shouichi is the one that demanded he stayed, and yes, Morinaga uses that for emotional blackmail to get sex out of him, for which Shouichi regularly beats him up over. They are both TERRIBLE in the beginning. Shouichi is abusive and Morinaga is a rapist. And the first nine or so volumes of this manga are literally all about them learning boundaries.
I think that’s the point though. This relationship started from one of the (more realistic) worst possible starting points. One of them is an abusive homophobe, and the other is a rapist. Over the course of 14 volumes we watch Morinaga learn boundaries, learn to listen to his partner, learn to accept a fucking no in regards to sex sometimes. He learns why and when his senpai does or doesn’t want sex and he starts listening to it. He learns what Shouichi cares about and starts putting proper effort into seeing his desires become reality, while still wedging out the place he wants in his life. He’s grown a fuck ton. The same goes for Shouichi. In the beginning he couldn’t even stand the thought of gays. He kicked Morinaga around for being one despite considering him one of his only friends. He wouldn’t listen to anything Morinaga had to say about his life, and once they were in an (unhealthy) early relationship, refused to acknowledge any of Morinaga’s feelings. Over the course of the manga he has learned about the discrimination that lgbt+ have faced and become more open minded, learned to listen to his partner in regards to his experiences, and has actively started looking for what upsets him. They have both learned to express themselves better, but Shouichi has come leaps and bounds further in that department than Morinaga. And yes, I agree with a lot of people in the fact I think Shouichi is ace. I also think he’s a non sex-repulsed ace though, and the main reason he freaked out about the sex in the beginning is that it was RAPE. I’d freak out about that too.
The point is though, they’re not perfect. They weren’t portrayed to be perfect. This manga is the story of two jackasses learning to overcome their biases and listen to each other because they want the other in their lives more than they want to stay who they used to be. They grew and adapted because they cared about each other, and stopped doing the things that were unhealthy. As of volume 14, the rape has stopped. As has most of the physical abuse. They openly talk about their feelings and desires, and look out for each other. I think this manga is a really interesting look at two broken people figuring out how to make their lives work together, and it doesn’t get enough credit for that. Real relationships aren’t perfect, most people don’t fit together like a puzzle. These two definitely don’t. But they figured out how to make a nasty mess of a relationship into something supportive, and I think the journey there was fascinating.
Also, another fun bit to this manga is nothing is stagnate. In the beginning they’re both in the middle of their masters and doctorate respectively, but over the course of the manga Morinaga graduates with his Masters and decides to go into pharmaceuticals, while Shouichi finishes up his doctorate and starts teaching at the university they graduate from. Shouichi’s house burns down early in the manga at the same time Morinaga needed a new apartment, which results in them living together. Morinaga reconnects with his estranged brother while Shouichi gets over his tiff about his little brother eloping. There’s more to their lives and this manga then just their fucked up relationship becoming something stable. They have lives and families and real world concerns that affect each chapter. Morinaga went through a mental spiral about graduating because if he wanted to get a proper job that would result in a long distance relationship for them. And it does. And they work through that until he manages to get a transfer closer to home. Things that in reality would affect a relationship as someone ages actually happen to them, and they steadily figure out how to handle them. It’s honestly a interesting read.
Now, for anyone reading this who hasn’t actually read the manga, this really isn’t for everyone. There’s a shit ton of rape and unhealthy behavior in the first nine volumes. It’s portrayed semi-sexily, but Shouichi is very much displeased and takes in out on Morinaga afterwards. A sane person would stop hanging out with their rapist, but he is very fond of him for reasons the manga explains. If you can deal with the early unhealthy relationship though, I promise, it gets better. It takes (counts in head) three years or so of developing their relationship and learning healthly communication, but at the point I’m at the manga is downright wholesome. It’s a long journey to get there, but in this instance, I honestly think the journey was worth it.
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