Quote from Dafat-MKII

So...

You accept that you are below society's standards, but you would like to know how to act around women given what you listed out.

You also refer to yourself as half-crazy...In which case you should not be walking the streets.

What sort of advice would you like? All I see in this is a pity exercise Oo

Below society's standards - No.
Different - Yes.

Half-crazy - Not in the pathological sense. I'm half-crazy in the emo sense - I tend to get depressed easily, but that's under control now.

Pity Excercise - Maybe. As I said over and over, I just don't want to make a fool of myself. I don't want to impress a specific girl, or get laid - I just don't want to be laughed at 🙂 .

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

"How to act such that I do not get laughed at?" is quite a different question than "How to behave around girls?"

At any rate, acting yourself may or may not fix that problem, depending on your personality.

If the people around you laugh at you, then maybe you should try to stay away from them. If that's not possible, then it's up to you to solve it on your own. Such things are situational.

If everybody laughs at you...I can't say I know what to do.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

Quote from brigee88

Quote from Casey D. Geek

And how do I rein in the touch-feely part of me?

Are you touchy feely with your male friends? If so keep doing that. If you don't why not? Do you think women automatically want your hands on them? 😔
You said people don't notice you, make eye contact with people and maybe offer a small smile.

I know that they don't like ti - that's why I asked about reining it in, not wether I should do it or not. I respect their personal space, but I hope you understand that to me, sometimes mere words cannot express all my emotions.

And I don't mind them noticing me. I don't blame them. There are better guys around. That's the sad fact of life 🙂

I again ask you, do you touch your male friends? If you do not, do not touch your girl ones if they don't make it clear it's okay.

Unless you compulsively touch others, then i don't see what is so hard about this. In this instance there is no try, you either do it or you don't.

You are not the only one who has to reign in your emotions, we all have emotions that we'd like to express physically. But we all have to exercise self control.

Quote from Casey D. Geek

Better -
Guys who are not close-to-stereotypical geeks/nerds.

Guys who go out of their homes and meet with friends.

Guys who own/have transportation and use it for various purposes, including going to malls/movies with friends.

Guys who are not half-crazy.

Guys who do not have extreme issues that they have problems with.

Guys who don't need somone to talk to all day long.

Guys who don't have to deal with extreme skin diseases.

There are tons of stereotypical geeky girls out there. They will have more leeway with you generally speaking.

Yeah, you're going to have to do that. I am a homebody to the nth degree. You know one of the quickest ways to lose friends, never see them. I am speaking from experience.

Well transportation does factor in, but I've never dropped a friend because they didn't have a car. Now unless you live somewhere with great transit, personally having some type of vehicle is important.

You said you get depressed easily, I'm going to suggest you look into getting a therapist/councler or maybe a group session.

Tons of people need lots of attention or to converse a lot honestly.

I'm sorry to hear that but there are many people that will look past that.

Also, you said you want people to accept you as you are but um I think a friend would want them to do better. I think you need to change some things about yourself tbh. You need the best you. You seem to lack confidence while this may be a part of you, it's not a good personality trait. Ask me how i know.

Oh and do you exercise, if not you need to. That will get your endorphin levels up and sunshine is good too, so i suggest running. Not sure how old you are but regardless I suggest volunteering/community outreach. It's a great way to put things in perspective, meet new people, feel less depressed, grow your social skills.

Nobody laughs at me. I can handle social contact pretty well, but - as I believe I mentioned - I am unsure on how to behave around girls.

I am very self concious. While I can handle talking to girls - even making friends with them - when I meet them under circumstances where I have some confidence, or gather up confidence. Talk to me about my school prep, novels, I can handle it. But recently, I go to a coaching where there are quite a few girls. They don't notice me overtly, as far as I can tell (duh), but I did not know what kind of things they might offensive, et cetera - I lacked confidence, and still do, somewhat. So I asked you guys for advice.

I don't want to offend anybody, or be laughed at. I want to be the guy no one notices to much - they know he's there, but they don't think too long about him. But I still want them to think of me as a good guy. And that's what asking about. Guys I can handle. That art I have perfected. Girls, I lack confidence with(repeated again and again for emphasis).

Edit-

Quote from brigee88

I again ask you, do you touch your male friends?
You are not the only one who has to reign in your emotions, we all have emotions that we'd like to express physically. But we all have to exercise self control.

Well transportation does factor in, but I've never dropped a friend because they didn't have a car. Now unless you live somewhere with great transit, personally having some type of vehicle is important.

You said you get depressed easily, I'm going to suggest you look into getting a therapist/councler or maybe a group session.

I'm sorry to hear that but there are many people that will look past that.

Also, you said you want people to accept you as you are but um I think a friend would want them to do better. I think you need to change some things about yourself tbh. You need the best you. You seem to lack confidence while this may be a part of you, it's not a good personality trait. Ask me how i know.

Oh and do you exercise, if not you need to. That will get your endorphin levels up and sunshine is good too, so i suggest running. Not sure how old you are but regardless I suggest volunteering/community outreach. It's a great way to put things in perspective, meet new people, feel less depressed, grow your social skills.

It's sort of compulsive 🙂 . I keep it in check, though. Just asking for tips.

By the transportation thing, I meant they "hang out" together. I don't.

My depression usually is from only one reason - how much of a disaster my chances are. I handle that well too, but I like having someone as a sounding board, and not many girls appreciate that, as far as I can tell.

My skin problem is not noticable, but it's there. And no, while nobody notices it - or they don't say it even if they notice - I don't think there's anybody I know who'll look past that, in females. I may be wrong, as I never tried.

This thread itself suggests that I am trying to improve, but there are some things people will have to accept, such as how sometimes(quite frequently) I need complete privacy.

Excercise 🤢 . It's on my list, but it never happens 😛

As I said, I'm not looking for friends. I've left behind too many of them, and every time it seems I'm the only one who remembers anything.To me, true friendship is sacred, but not many people agree. It seems better to be alone.

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

You say nobody laughs at you, but you still seem to be really concerned about girls laughing about you. (did I get this right?)

I think you might be a bit similar to how I was a few years ago. All I did was reading the whole time and I didn't really have any friends. To be honest, I also was more "afraid" of girls than guys, even though I'm a girl myself. I was always afraid to be laughed at and completely avoided any situation that might make me embarassed. So I kept quiet and didn't say anything. Still, because I wanted people to accept me, I was afraid of being laughed at. And contrary to your situation, there were people who made fun of me, simply because they could, simply because I had no one backing me up.
I also didn't want to inconvenience people, I didn't want to force them to be together with me because I thought they'd be annoyed, so I stayed away.

But then I changed schools and there I met this girl who until this day is a great friend of mine. She has to be the most fun loving, funny and nice person in the world, because I know NO ONE who met her and doesn't like her. She's not cool or pretty or anything, she's simply a joyful person. She's also one of the most clumsiest people I've ever met, and I don't mean her motoric skills. She always gets into the most embarassing situations. But unlike me, she doesn't try to hide it, she laughs about it herself! I tried that out and it worked miracles!

So don't try to avoid embarassing yourself so much that you're constantly afraid of such situations, even though you rarely encounter them. If they happen, just laugh about them and people will like you more for it. Like this, I got to the point where many things just don't embarass me anymore (like singing in front of other people, dancing like crazy in the frontrow of a concert,...) and I don't care about what other people think about me. What matters are only my friends, and they like my newfound, sometimes a bit crazy, me.

Tipps for interaction with girls (=humans in general):

• Don't think the worst of people before you know them. Give them a chance.
• From what I gathered, you don't have to deal with all of the girls at once. So don't. Talking to one at a time is fine. Maybe the one sitting next/across/behind you.
• Try talking about easy subjects like your coaching, maybe ask if you don't understand something.
• Maybe make a funny remark about something that's being said.
• Gauge the person's reaction. If they react negatively, back off.
• Don't force conversation.
• SMILE!!! It's human instinct to react more positively to a smile.
• DON'T state radical political/religious opinions when you don't know somebody well. While you may or may not have them, those are sensitiv subjects and you might insult/offend somebody. So before you do that, try subtly feeling out how the person feels about it.
• Don't be a know-it-all, a show-off, a overly cool guy. I feel more at ease with people who aren't emotionally barren.
• You don't have to be perfect. There are no perfect humans. Flaws make people interesting.
• As was suggested previously: Do some extracurricular activity. It doesn't have to be sports. Join a choir/orchestra/band, get a part time job, do volonteer work,... You will meet people and can polish up your skills there. (and get friends! Because no matter what you say, humans aren't meant to be solitary creatures.)
• Treat people you don't know exactly how you would like to be treated by a stranger.
• Should you somehow accidentally insult someone, apologize!

And last: I don't really get why you are so dead certain that nobody will like you/want to spend time with you/accept you. You seem to be quite nice. You have a skin decease. So what? After maybe being a bit uncomfortable around you for a minute because of not knowing how to react, people will soon forget about it if you are nice and interesting. And you're kinda contradicting yourself. In a earlier post, you said you had a horrible skin decease. But now you say it's not very noticeable. So I guess you're more preoccupied with that than necessary. A guy I know has a glass eye. Quite noticeable. And you totally forget about it when talking to him, because it JUST DOESN'T MATTER!
So you like having time for yourself. So do I. So does my sister, father, cat, friends,...

All in all, don't try TOO hard to please. Avoid being a jerk, tell people a bit about yourself, let them in.

Sorry for this awfully long post^^

Quote from Casey D. Geek

I don't have male friends, or friends. I had one, but he moved. I didn't touch him at all. Others are acquaintances-friends, not true friends.

It's sort of compulsive 🙂 . I keep it in check, though. Just asking for tips.

By the transportation thing, I meant they "hang out" together. I don't.

My depression usually is from only one reason - how much of a disaster my chances are. I handle that well too, but I like having someone as a sounding board, and not many girls appreciate that, as far as I can tell.

My skin problem is usually not noticable, but it's there. And no, while nobody notices it - or they don't say it even if they notice - I don't think there's anybody I know who'll look past that, in females. I may be wrong, as I never tried.

This thread itself suggests that I am trying to improve, but there are some things people will have to accept, such as how sometimes(quite frequently) I need complete privacy.

Excercise 🤢 . It's on my list, but it never happens 😛

As I said, I'm not looking for friends. I've left behind too many of them, and every time it seems I'm the only one who remembers anything.To me, true friendship is sacred, but not many people agree. It seems better to be alone.

Edit2 - Am I a gone case 🤢 ?

no you are not a lost cause, its okay i like having my me time as well (which is when im riding), my gut is telling me that you are looking for a somewhat serious relationship..if so then try online dating

"when i'm sad, i stop being sad and be awesome instead."

• Barney Stinson

@organiclron - Thanks for all the advice, it really helps.
BTW, my skin disease is not extreme in the sense that it is everywhere, just that it is very hard to remove. I've had it for years - some docs say it's hyperdandruff, some say fungus, some say dryness, et cetera. No one has cured it - it keeps coming back. So, it's a different kinda extreme.

@pumpupthevolume - Maybe, subconciously, I am. Conciously, I know it's not possible right now, and possibly never 🙂 .

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

Quote from mangacraze

if you want sex be a jerk

lol yes!

i think you dont have a problem with girls...you're just convincing yourself that you do,go back to the beginning of the thread and read everything you wrote...its like you're explaining to yourself why youre not so good with girls
also from reading what you wrote i think you're going through the stage where you feel lonely and need someone to make you happier....i went through that last year...its just a phase,believe me it'll go away soon
so yeah be happier and chin up,you never know,you might actually have secret fans out there 😛

Quote from sarah-eats-cupcakes

i think you dont have a problem with girls...you're just convincing yourself that you do,go back to the beginning of the thread and read everything you wrote...its like you're explaining to yourself why youre not so good with girls
also from reading what you wrote i think you're going through the stage where you feel lonely and need someone to make you happier....i went through that last year...its just a phase,believe me it'll go away soon
so yeah be happier and chin up,you never know,you might actually have secret fans out there 😛

I think you might be right to a certain extent, except that I honestly feel awkward around girls - but yes, it is mostly my own doing 😛
I'm better now, thanks to all the advice(special posts excluded, as they were not related to my question)

By the way, I know I have - or rather had, half a year ago - secret admirers 😛

There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

I don't know if this thread is over or not, but w/e.

My suggestion is become a salesperson, door to door knocker is the best. Or even a door knocker for some charity organisation. Doing stuff like that forces you to talk to complete strangers and after a while you develop the ability to be able to talk to anyone you want without feeling awkward, girls included of course.

I speak from experience lol.

The world would be a bleak place without manga.

Dude is this real life? Seriously though?
As everyone has said just act like how you act around boys. :/ We don't care.

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Quote from Kitteh_13

Dude is this real life? Seriously though?
As everyone has said just act like how you act around boys. :/ We don't care.

Ah, don't know if I'd want that. I must confess that I'd want boys to restrain themselves just a bit, compared to if it was male company. Don't want them farting and talking about my friend's boobs in front of me.

I'd think that guys wouldn't mind if we kept our period talks and bitching about other girls to ourselves either.

Quote from Oriolidae

Quote from Kitteh_13

Dude is this real life? Seriously though?
As everyone has said just act like how you act around boys. :/ We don't care.

Ah, don't know if I'd want that. I must confess that I'd want boys to restrain themselves just a bit, compared to if it was male company. Don't want them farting and talking about my friend's boobs in front of me.

Do guys actually do that? I'm a guy and I've never farted or talked about boobs with my guy friends.

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Quote from Turbophoenix

Quote from Oriolidae

Quote from Kitteh_13

Dude is this real life? Seriously though?
As everyone has said just act like how you act around boys. :/ We don't care.

Ah, don't know if I'd want that. I must confess that I'd want boys to restrain themselves just a bit, compared to if it was male company. Don't want them farting and talking about my friend's boobs in front of me.

Do guys actually do that? I'm a guy and I've never farted or talked about boobs with my guy friends.

depends how comfortable they're with the guys they're hanging out with, and i gotta agree i dont know that many girls that would want to be treated as if they're one of the guys, from what i know they want to be treated like a lady XD

"when i'm sad, i stop being sad and be awesome instead."

• Barney Stinson