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Quote from meroko123

for the ones that are out of control, yes but i think there needs to be a better way to punish kids than hitting them. my dad got hit when he was younger. then he hit me a kid and i now sometimes resort to violence. 😔

but can you really say that the reason you are violent today is because you were spanked as a kid. I know plenty of violent people who were not spanked as children, as well as many people who are REALLY not violent who were spanked when they were little.

i wasn't only spanked, i got hit, thumped ect and subjected to mental abuse. there hasn't been anything other than that in my life to explain my behavior.

wow.....the polls are close: no=37, yes=35 I'm not just talking out my ass, here. I had a abusive drunk for a dad. Not to say he was drunk and abusive all the time, but when he was it was bad. You got the piss beat out of you and you stood up again. You don't use bad parenting as an excuse to not discipline your kids by spanking them because your old man went too hard on you.

You see, in the US at least, there's this law against "battery". It sort of says that it isn't "no problem" as long as the other person wants to press charges (well provided they don't enter any sort of voluntary mutual combat, unless it's warranted by self-defense, or at least that's my understanding of it). I'm talking about kids fighting. The only time the cops or a court get involved is when some idiot ass parent raised a douche of a kid by not disciplining them properly, and being a douche themselves for wasting taxpayer money for a scrap on the playground.

Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

Quote from silent killer

I'm talking about kids fighting. The only time the cops or a court get involved is when some idiot ass parent raised a douche of a kid by not disciplining them properly, and being a douche themselves for wasting taxpayer money for a scrap on the playground.

Maybe it's different where you live, but the schools here are VERY VERY strict about violence. Hitting results in suspension pretty quickly, and after a certain number of problems, the kid is not allowed to attend the school at all. That's not a penalty in a court of law, but it's a pretty serious situation, considering that most parents (where we live) work, and are going to have a hard time finding/paying for another supervised situation for their kid. (This is in the elementary schools; my boys start jr. high next week so I'm sure I'll hear all about the rules & consequences soon.)

Fortunately the schools also spend quite a bit of time teaching the kids non-physical ways to solve their disputes, which (in my experience) generally leads to better resolutions (for everyone involved) than physical fights do. Also, as kids get older, that kind of fighting gets less & less socially acceptable and more & more likely to involve the police.

I really don't understand why so many people are SO freakin' attached to spanking, esp. when there are so many other options. 😕

"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

Quote from silent killer

All I know is I was spanked when I was little, and I turned out fine. I've known kids that were never spanked and ended up being total bastards. My nieces, when they do something really bad they get spanked and they don't make the same mistake twice. Spanking works. Plain and simple. It's doesn't solve all the problems, but it works

I always have to explain everything twice. Even on the internet. I hate that.

Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

Quote from silent killer

I'm not just talking out my ass, here. I had a abusive drunk for a dad. Not to say he was drunk and abusive all the time, but when he was it was bad. You got the piss beat out of you and you stood up again. You don't use bad parenting as an excuse to not discipline your kids by spanking them because your old man went too hard on you. im not saying that after getting subjectd to violence as a child that i will go soft when i have my own. i will obviosly disipline them but not to the extent of putting them through what i went through.

I was spanked when I was little, and I really hated it. However, it didn't really help me in the way it was meant to, however it certainly was the grounding for my excellent sneaking skills, seeing as I still did everything I was first punished for, just made sure not to get caught.

As for if it causes violence or not... well... I'll just avoid that subject. XD I'm sure there are quite a few more things that are more of a probable cause for my violence, including having 8/10 of the signs for being a Psychopath. So, I shan't blame spanking. That probably had little to contribute to it anyway.

If I ever have any kids, I'll probably spank them, but probably not very hard. Just hard enough so it stings for a bit. That'll teach them to watch themselves around me, at least. A good bit of learning to sneak about and get around things is good for people anyway. I'll probably use some other methods as well, however. Spanking doesn't substitute timeout all the time.

Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?

hahaha. Yeah, spanking will sometimes bring about another reaction besides being sheepish about violence or just compounding the problem. It will also teach your kids to be sneaky like ninjas, or they will just do their bad behavior at a friends house 🙂

Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

if i ever have kids, and they arent deathly afraid of incurring my wraith, then i believe that i will of failed as a parent.

besides, who wants to raise a bunch of pansies and push overs. nothing makes a boy into a man faster than the school of hard knocks.

"When god gives you lemons, find a new god."

Quote from Juicifer

if i ever have kids, and they arent deathly afraid of incurring my wraith, then i believe that i will of failed as a parent.

Why on earth would you want your kids to be afraid of you? 😕

If my kids are in trouble, I want them to come to me for help (which is not to say that I'm going to fix it all for them - I'm not), not do everything in their power to hide it from me because they're "deathly afraid of incurring my wrath".

"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

I will not spank my kids but im not saying that spanking is either good or bad. Its just my personal preference. IMO some kids need a little wack and some kids do not. I figure you need to evaluate which method your child needs. I myself was a candidate for many spankings and beatings from my parents. But what my parents discovered is that I became imune to the spankings and beatings so they figured to give me even worse punishment... They began to talk and discuss my behavior with me. oh my god this would last from 1 to 2 hours. where as my beating would take 30 to 90 seconds top, then I can go to my rom with all my entertainment, to refresh for the next day of havoc I would cause. but the Lecture would last until I was to sleepy to even argue back. The next time I would get in trouble less and less. please, please I would beg them to spank or beat me instead of the lecture. the thought of the impending lecture would definitley deter me from misbehaving, bringing home low grades and even skipping school. Now that Im in college I still feel a little hesitant to show them a bad grades, I just do not want to hear their lecture voices. except when they send me all their love and my monthly allowances 😀 😀 😉

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no i don't have kids....but when i do i'll only spank them when needed.

my parents spanked me..but they also explained why. i'm not psychologically hurt or abused in any way. when i was old enough to understand why, i stopped behaving badly. i never feared or hated my parents because of it.

i teach at a school for the summer (i'm only a teenager though >.<)...and i've realized that some children just need a little explaining..and some need to be yelledat /spanked. [don't use punishment freely]

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Quote from Juicifer

if i ever have kids, and they arent deathly afraid of incurring my wraith, then i believe that i will of failed as a parent.

Why on earth would you want your kids to be afraid of you? 😕

If my kids are in trouble, I want them to come to me for help (which is not to say that I'm going to fix it all for them - I'm not), not do everything in their power to hide it from me because they're "deathly afraid of incurring my wrath".

"Since love and fear can hardly coexist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved"
-Niccolo Machiavelli

not only that, but love/affection are such fickle and weak emotions. also, learning how to take a beating is probably one of the most useful skills a kid can learn today. builds character. moral fiber it is.

"When god gives you lemons, find a new god."

Personally I'd avoid spanking since by personal experience, a kid can get used to the pain fairly quickly. That and I'd be worried about killing the kid in frustration. No, I'd do as the dog whisperer would do to control the kid. Exercise, discipline and then affection.

First I'd make the kid do push ups until he collapses, limit access to food, water and electricity and when the kid finally stops swearing to cut me in my sleep, let him go to sleep earlier rather than make me sandals to sell in Chinatown.

Quote from silent killer

You see, in the US at least, there's this law against "battery". It sort of says that it isn't "no problem" as long as the other person wants to press charges (well provided they don't enter any sort of voluntary mutual combat, unless it's warranted by self-defense, or at least that's my understanding of it). I'm talking about kids fighting. The only time the cops or a court get involved is when some idiot ass parent raised a douche of a kid by not disciplining them properly, and being a douche themselves for wasting taxpayer money for a scrap on the playground.

I still cannot fathom why you would encourage children to engage in an activity they can be arrested for if they continue it later in life. That just doesn't make logical sense to me- there are far more productive ways to waste energy and aggression if you have to (organized sports, for instance).

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how is kids letting them be kids turn them into criminals. One point I've been trying to make is some people are blowing a few scraps early on in life way out of proportion. Spanking your kids won't ensure it that they will become dangerous individuals later on, neither will not spanking them. Its just another tool for disciplining children and it shouldn't be dismissed outright. No matter how draconian anyone thinks it is.

Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

Quote from silent killer

how is kids letting them be kids turn them into criminals.

One doesn't have to go around beating other kids up to be a kid. The point is whether or not you encourage it or allow it, not whether or not it exists. Regardless, I digress because I was talking about allowing kids to hit each other, not about spanking.

As to your logic though, why would you use a violent method (violence defined as "physical force exerted so as to injure, abuse, or inflict pain") that may or may not work when there are so many alternatives that are non-violent and have the same impact? It's not as though I'm saying spanking inherently creates violent children or is ineffective- there are obviously many situations where neither of those cases are true, and it would be foolish to generalize. But by the same token, the fact that it doesn't work universally should be taken into account, and it's foolish to generalize that it does. Being violent in and of itself makes it different from every other tool in the utility belt, it's something to consider rationally, rather than just use, but again, that's opinion.

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NightSwan also said that she wanted to peg me, once, but I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or a threat...