Quote from Israfel

lol, not chour! as in, not yours

oh boy...chue, you got to run triple speed just to be slow, i think XD

ohhh i get it. thanks israfel ^^
not your >_>

lmao i'm saving that joke xDD

thanks skittles too 😀

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hmm, not for below 18, i think XD
and its also kinda racist/w/e -cist against West VA people, no offense XD

A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.

"Son, is your mother home?" The little boy nods yes.

"Can I see her please?" The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep.

"Son, do you see what your mother is doing?" The boy nods yes.

"Do you know what that is?" The boy nods.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Naaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Rule No. 1 is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule No. 2 is, it's all small stuff." - Robert Eliot, Writer

"Oh boy, here we go...again." - Israfel

I'm getting too old....

A rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her
vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a
naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she
slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was
lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the
hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.

"The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much
appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly.

"No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the
dining room skylight."

Straight forward, this one came up after israfel's joke.

Here's another weird one i found... i have a lot of jokes in logs >_>

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in
the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The
bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's
too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the
Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being
cleaned today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we
can come back tomorrow."

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We
have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss
the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone
who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."

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Quote from Israfel

A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.

"Son, is your mother home?" The little boy nods yes.

"Can I see her please?" The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep.

"Son, do you see what your mother is doing?" The boy nods yes.

"Do you know what that is?" The boy nods.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Naaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Quote from chueisha

A rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her
vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a
naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she
slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was
lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the
hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.

"The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much
appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly.

"No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the
dining room skylight."

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in
the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The
bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's
too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the
Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being
cleaned today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we
can come back tomorrow."

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We
have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss
the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone
who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."

[color=blue]Great jokes[/color]....[color=green]Cousins[/color] color=red[/color]

**and my reply to chue's jokes **

Knock knock

Who's there?

Arthur

Arthur who?

Arthur any better jokes on this site?

rofl, just joking ;D
actually your first one was kinda funny, sounds like something a blonde would do

aww, fjg is the only one cheering us on, lol. appreciate it ^^

"Rule No. 1 is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule No. 2 is, it's all small stuff." - Robert Eliot, Writer

"Oh boy, here we go...again." - Israfel

I'm getting too old....

LOL, i only save the ones i actually get >_> so yeah lol not that funny.. lol. i have more though shrugs

"May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just
tell them straight out that they're going to die."

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Quote from Israfel

**and my reply to chue's jokes **

Knock knock

Who's there?

Arthur

Arthur who?

Arthur any better jokes on this site?

rofl, just joking ;D
actually your first one was kinda funny, sounds like something a blonde would do

aww, fjg is the only one cheering us on, lol. appreciate it ^^

Great joke again [color=green]Cousin[/color]

I will always be cheering for both of you (n_n)

lol, japs. that was a joke again the entire asian race XD

here another one:

Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel...

• Spit-polishes his halo
• Buys a maxi-pad with wings
• Drops out of a so-called "Choir of Angels" because that's really just a place for a bunch of diva show-offs to shine sunbeams up God's butt
• Orders a plate of "Hades Hot" Buffalo wings
• Drinks a little too much of Junior's blood and falls off a cloud
• Listens to Paul McCartney sing with his band "Wings"
• Takes a heavenly crap
• Decides to reveal the Lord's majesty to the masses by appearing on some aluminum siding in east Texas
• Obeys his Pavlovian conditioning, and barks like a dog
• Sits down for dinner
• Prank calls the miserable whiners in Hell
• Gets his union card
• Takes the fruitcake out of the oven
• Gets his wings ripped from his back, so they can be given to a more angelic and deserving angel
• Tells a mortal, "Oh c'mon, jump already! I don't got all day!"

"Rule No. 1 is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule No. 2 is, it's all small stuff." - Robert Eliot, Writer

"Oh boy, here we go...again." - Israfel

I'm getting too old....

Quote from Israfel

lol, japs. that was a joke again the entire asian race XD

edited it >_> i have no idea how i saved that.. never save anything offend asian :/ probably my cousin shrugs i go by orders lol

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Quote from Israfel

lol, japs. that was a joke again the entire asian race XD

here another one:

Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel...

• Spit-polishes his halo
• Buys a maxi-pad with wings
• Drops out of a so-called "Choir of Angels" because that's really just a place for a bunch of diva show-offs to shine sunbeams up God's butt
• Orders a plate of "Hades Hot" Buffalo wings
• Drinks a little too much of Junior's blood and falls off a cloud
• Listens to Paul McCartney sing with his band "Wings"
• Takes a heavenly crap
• Decides to reveal the Lord's majesty to the masses by appearing on some aluminum siding in east Texas
• Obeys his Pavlovian conditioning, and barks like a dog
• Sits down for dinner
• Prank calls the miserable whiners in Hell
• Gets his union card
• Takes the fruitcake out of the oven
• Gets his wings ripped from his back, so they can be given to a more angelic and deserving angel
• Tells a mortal, "Oh c'mon, jump already! I don't got all day!"

Quote from chueisha

"May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
"Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just
tell them straight out that they're going to die."

And again great jokes [color=green]Cousins[/color] color=blue[/color]

[color=red]Here's a joke[/color]

blood test
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test !

Blond joke as told to me by a blond.....

Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.

When they were just about there they read the sign:

Disneyland Left

Disappointed, they turn back around and went home.

** [color=green]Mad people either have no sense or too many extra senses... [/color]**
[color=red]On the net, men are men, women are men and children are the FBI. =D[/color]

Quote from Nelo_Neko

Blond joke as told to me by a blond.....

Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.

When they were just about there they read the sign:

Disneyland Left

Disappointed, they turn back around and went home.

Great joke Nelo_Neko (n_n)

Here's another one: this one is a Blond joke too...

Jigsaw Puzzle
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started." Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then............," he sighed, ..... "Let's put all of these frosted flakes back into the box."

blondes, lol

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

lol, sucks

A little old lady was sitting on her front porch in her rocking chair, reflecting on her long life, when suddenly her fairy godmother appeared to grant her three wishes.

"What would you like for your first wish?" the fairy godmother asked.

The little old lady said, "I guess I'm like everyone else, and would like to be rich."

POOF! Her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

"And, for your second wish?" asked her fairy godmother.

The little old lady said, "Well, like everyone else, I wish I were young and attractive."

POOF! The little old lady was now a beautiful young woman.

"And, for your third and final wish?" asked her fairy godmother.

Now the beautiful young woman was trying to come up with her last wish when Burt, her tomcat, walked across the porch in front of her.

"Oh!" she said. "Can you turn Burt into a handsome young prince?"

POOF! Suddenly, before her very eyes, was the most handsome young prince she had ever seen.

He smiled at her with a manliness that made her knees weak. Her heartbeat quickened, as lust coursed through her every fiber. The handsome young prince slowly approached her and whispered softly in her ear: "Don't you wish you hadn't had me neutered..."

"Rule No. 1 is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule No. 2 is, it's all small stuff." - Robert Eliot, Writer

"Oh boy, here we go...again." - Israfel

I'm getting too old....

Great jokes [color=blue]Cousin[/color]

Here's another blonde joke

blonde car accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

This one is a Bar joke

I'm getting a fax

A man walks into a bar for a pub lunch. As he's drinking his pint, waiting for his food a young gentlemen walks in and sits with him. After ordering a drink, they begin to talk. Mid-conversation the man hears a beeping sound. The man, confused, asks where the sound is coming from.

The gentlemen, smiling, pulls up the sleeve of his shirt and shows a small screen in his arm, saying, "OH, I went to Japan earlier this year and got a pager fitted into my arm."

As they resume talking, a second man walks into the bar, and after ordering a drink, joins in the conversation. After a few minutes, teh first man notices a ringing noise. "Can you hear that?"

The new gentlemen opens his palm, and then proceeds to talk into his thumb. The first man, very confused, asks what he is doing.

The new guy says, "Oh, i went to Japan a few months ago and got a phone fitted into my hand. Sweet aint it!"

At this point, the first gentlemen felt a little left out, and excused himself to the loo. After about an hour, the other too began to worry. They decided to wander into the toilets and check-up on him.

On entering the toilets, they saw him naked, hand up against the wall, with toilet paper sticking out his bum. The man turns around and says "Hey, I'll be one sec. Im just recieveing a fax!"

This has to be a secret spam plan. 🤣