Quote from kawaiiairbender

That's not what I'm saying. I'm asking why do people think that others do not have the capacity to wait to have sex. My sex ed teacher back in hs told me flat out that I would have sex before I graduated. My old best friend said that there was no way I could wait until I got married before I had sex.

oh okay gotcha cheebs once they can legally have sex. Where I live it is no one under 16 can have sex. 16 year olds with permission with other 16 year olds. Or maybe it's without but I know that no one younger than 16 is allowed to have sex

Your teacher probably assumed that in this day and age it is usually common for people to succumb to their lust and emotions, as this is something the body naturally wants you to do. Since it's not so widely practiced anymore, the pressure is to lose your virginity before marriage. I'm sure it's possible, though I don't think I know anyone like that...

It all depends on your state laws, really. I'm pretty sure in my state it's a legal argument for a man who wants to divorce his wife that because she refused to have sex with him he wants to have a divorce. Also, I think it's illegal to do any position other than missionary...but who the hell's gonna report that? 🤣

Quote from kawaiiairbender

That's not what I'm saying. I'm asking why do people think that others do not have the capacity to wait to have sex. My sex ed teacher back in hs told me flat out that I would have sex before I graduated. My old best friend said that there was no way I could wait until I got married before I had sex.

Sorry, didn't register to my brain immediately because I have different beliefs.

As for your question, I think that if a person really wants to wait, then they can. People who say it isn't possible prolly doesn't know what the word determination means.

Quote from Dark_Sage

Way to go off on a tangent. I never said anything about medical procedures or claimed they were bad. Nice strawman argument though. Way to also make an appeal towards emotion.

Not really. If you're going to advocate for the "natural way" as being the RIGHT way, then you'd better be prepared to look at just what that so-called "natural way" really entails - and it certainly doesn't include such things as birth control & surgery.

Humans have brains that are (in most cases) capable of logical thought. Unlike animals, humans have the ability to think about the consequences of their actions, for example "gee, I'm only 13, maybe I'm not really mature enough to have sex, especially since no birth control is 100% effective and I don't want to be a parent yet." 🙄

"[English] not only borrows words from other languages; it has on occasion chased other languages down dark alley-ways, clubbed them unconscious and rifled their pockets for new vocabulary."
-James Nicoll, can.general, March 21, 1992

Quote from TofuQueen

Not really. If you're going to advocate for the "natural way" as being the RIGHT way, then you'd better be prepared to look at just what that so-called "natural way" really entails - and it certainly doesn't include such things as birth control & surgery.

Humans have brains that are (in most cases) capable of logical thought. Unlike animals, humans have the ability to think about the consequences of their actions, for example "gee, I'm only 13, maybe I'm not really mature enough to have sex, especially since no birth control is 100% effective and I don't want to be a parent yet." 🙄

Is this Guy Fawkes Night or what?

You're twisting my words so much.

My argument is more akin to saying that once someone's eyes develop to the capacity to see, they can be used. If a law/societal norm were to say, "No. You can only see once you're 8 years of age!" well that's fine and dandy for that society, but logic and objective/clear thinking would dictate that the person should be allowed to see once their body is capable of it.

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Quote from Dark_Sage

Quote from TofuQueen

Not really. If you're going to advocate for the "natural way" as being the RIGHT way, then you'd better be prepared to look at just what that so-called "natural way" really entails - and it certainly doesn't include such things as birth control & surgery.

Humans have brains that are (in most cases) capable of logical thought. Unlike animals, humans have the ability to think about the consequences of their actions, for example "gee, I'm only 13, maybe I'm not really mature enough to have sex, especially since no birth control is 100% effective and I don't want to be a parent yet." 🙄

Is this Guy Fawkes Night or what?

You're twisting my words so much.

My argument is more akin to saying that once someone's eyes develop to the capacity to see, they can be used. If a law/societal norm were to say, "No. You can only see once you're 8 years of age!" well that's fine and dandy for that society, but logic and objective/clear thinking would dictate that the person should be allowed to see once their body is capable of it.

Dark_Sage, it's not fair that you are confusing them by talking about physical nature. While they are talking about the mentality behind the idea. Thus, causing more arguments then are needed. >_>

Ok, here's my two lousy cents, some may hate me, but oh well, it's my morals. I'm 27 goin on 28 27th of this month, yay! And guess what?? I am still a virgin! I haven't been with a man, and don't plan on it, with all this crap about sex is all that, and with anyone is good. I'm not into that. It turns me off, for a guy to be a "player". 🙄 I am straight, I so like guys, it's just the whole sex thing in this world is stupid. I can't have sex with anyone, I don't love and care for. I have to have Love for a man, and he has to wait until I am ready, if he loves me too, which may be a long time, cause I am scared. I admit, I am scared, there's too many STD's in this world to risk my body for a guy who just wants my body for sex, not love, and give me one of many STD's thats out there, and leaves me to have another girl. I'm left with a STD, and heartbroken. It's not worth it. If a guy loves me, he will wait for me, and prove he loves me, by waiting, and commiting to me, marriage. I would like for my man to be a virgin too. But, I don't think I will find one. I already accept that. Oh well, I still have my fantasies, of my dream man, (Kurama.). Sex isn't everything, not to me, if a guy doesn't love me, just wants me for sex, he can rot in h*ll, for all I care. 😃

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Well when I was younger a girls virginity was a big thing for me... now that im older it seems less important. =) The only reason I think I wanted a virgin girlfriend when I was younger was because I had no idea what the fuck I was doing the first time so I kind of wanted her to feel the same too I guess. ^^ Now that im older it really won't even cross my mind to ask how many guys the girl has slept with as long as she likes me for who I am and is an open and honest person.

Edit: As for people who want to wait to have sex I totally respect that but damn.... how do you do it lol?

Okay here's my very sex-ed teacher like speech:
You don't have to be ashamed of being a virgin, neither do you have to try to justify it by calling other people whores, sluts or STDbags. Sex is can be a wonderful thing between two people who like eachother.

My first words on this forum, and I couldn't have chosen a more provocative and emotional topic.

In this maelstrom of thrust and parrying by both sexes I can see something which IMO girls don't really tend to tell guys about.Yes most of us may be prejudiced about marrying/dating virgins but we are also under the pressure to "perform", but I don't think most girls relish the idea of holding the guy's hand throughout the sexual process. I am not justifying actions of the"players" but I do believe that most girls tend to prefer a guy who knows his way around. So the sweeping generalization that the phenomenon of gender disparity of guys sleeping around being players and women in the same position being sluts originates totally due to hypocritical male attitudes of seeking sex and disdaining women who do the same isn't right.

Guys are indeed under pressure to "lose" it either by their friends and to "perform" by their partners so for us it tends not be the special gift to given away but rather the embarrassing start of a learning curve where you fall down a lot and need time and experience to get better. However the dipshits with attitudes of overbearing arrogance are indeed found more commonly in experienced guys (after all male psyche is conditioned to believe more sex and higher no. of sexual partners is better)and hence the stereotype of "players" who seek only sex. As for the rest I believe waiting a bit is better as sex does tend to need emotional maturity to not be a traumatic or regrettable first experience.

@dark_sage: biology doesn't know everything ,as puberty is linked to body mass and can onset rather early or late and just because a girls is ovulating doesn't mean the rest of her body is physically ready(most complications occur in teenage pregnancies) or whether she herself is emotionally mature enough to handle it.More importantly puberty is a gradual growth process which continues till we reach adulthood(marked by hardening of bones).Only its onset is marked by formation of reproductive cells. If mother nature knew best then why did mankind move out of the trees in the first place?

"innocence is lucky if it gets the same protection that guilt commands"

i live alone in an apartment, girls in my school pratically threw themselves at me, but i choose not have sex. i'm not virgin, just fed up. so yes, i prefer virgin so that's why i stopped throbing girls.

Let's get Kickin' ...whatever that means

There's never really going to be a balanced playing field for both guys or girls. Some may see girls who are promiscious in the sack often are thought off badly. Guys seen to be promiscious may be seen as the exact opposite. Of course you'll have a few who will see and feel the exact opposite opinion on the matter - that it's the guys who are the sluts, etc...

Personally i don't care if i marry a virgin or not - the odds that someone will be a virign anyway at the age i'd like to get married would be very slim or they'd have to be jailbait. So long as the person who i'm with is loyal within the relationship then i'm good. There could be many reasons why someone isn't a virgin anymore, it isn't just wanting to make the number of people they've had sex with go up - there could be pressure from the opposite sex, pressure on themselves, lack of self-esteem, misinformed, whatever. So to sum it up if a girl has been in a lot of relationships and has had sex numerous times, but she was faithful in each relationship and tried to make each relationship work rather than jumping to the next one after the slightest tantrum/worry, then i won't have lost any respect for them.

What i could not be with or even friends to is someone who committs adultery/cheats regardless if they were under the unfluence of drugs/booze/other.

Quote from reanimated838uk

There's never really going to be a balanced playing field for both guys or girls. Some may see girls who are promiscious in the sack often are thought off badly. Guys seen to be promiscious may be seen as the exact opposite. Of course you'll have a few who will see and feel the exact opposite opinion on the matter - that it's the guys who are the sluts, etc...

Personally i don't care if i marry a virgin or not - the odds that someone will be a virign anyway at the age i'd like to get married would be very slim or they'd have to be jailbait. So long as the person who i'm with is loyal within the relationship then i'm good. There could be many reasons why someone isn't a virgin anymore, it isn't just wanting to make the number of people they've had sex with go up - there could be pressure from the opposite sex, pressure on themselves, lack of self-esteem, misinformed, whatever. So to sum it up if a girl has been in a lot of relationships and has had sex numerous times, but she was faithful in each relationship and tried to make each relationship work rather than jumping to the next one after the slightest tantrum/worry, then i won't have lost any respect for them.

What i could not be with or even friends to is someone who committs adultery/cheats regardless if they were under the unfluence of drugs/booze/other.

Finally! an answer to everything. 🤣 yes, its true. i think most guys would like to have their first time to be with a women of experience but would like to marry a virgin. even i prefer to marry a virgin. but as reanimated stated, the chances of finding a virgin would be very slim. and as stated in the poll about ideal partners the most important aspect for me is also loyalty

Quote from rf_sanguinius

I remember my last year of High School, when we did an anonymous poll of our class to see who would stay a virgin until there wedding. And out of total of like 35 only 3 of us said we would do that. So in my eyes, people are just to sex crazed loons.

Problem i see with marriage only sex is that you don't know if your compatible sexually with that person. Finding out they're the wrong person after you're married is going to be costly for both involved.
I realise some may feel this is an "excuse" coming from me (from reading previous posts), but for me, the person I want to marry and stay married with for the rest of my life is someone who is compatible with me on all levels - mentally, intellectually, emotionally and yes, physically. Just as some deem virginity a big decision - btw i forgot to mention that "i'm reanimated, i'm 23 and a virgin" sits back down in his chair - for me marriage is a big committment also, more than virginity - i hope to be married longer than i am a virgin.

Quote from xisaacbx

Edit: As for people who want to wait to have sex I totally respect that but damn.... how do you do it lol?

We wear chasity belts. Seriously 😛 Well me I guess it's not that hard. It's not that I don't want to occasionally but I made a commitment to myself and If I can't keep a promise to myself how I can expect anyone else to (keep one to me?) That and there are other things I'm more focused on right now, namely school and where I'm gong to transfer.

**Also, we have a clymedia/syphalisis problem here and we have the highest hiv/aid concentration in our state. Thanks but no thanks.

Quote from Cheebs

Your teacher probably assumed that in this day and age it is usually common for people to succumb to their lust and emotions, as this is something the body naturally wants you to do. Since it's not so widely practiced anymore, the pressure is to lose your virginity before marriage. I'm sure it's possible, though I don't think I know anyone like that...

It all depends on your state laws, really. I'm pretty sure in my state it's a legal argument for a man who wants to divorce his wife that because she refused to have sex with him he wants to have a divorce. Also, I think it's illegal to do any position other than missionary...but who the hell's gonna report that? 🤣

I mean that's what I assumed but it was annoying. I was like um no I think I know better than you.

Really interesting, my state no one can have oral sex... and I'm sure the people of my state are law abiding citizens 🤣 🤨

--
Of course marriage is more important than virginity to me at least (I'm not sure about everyone else) Marriage is something you don't (shouldn't) rush into anyway. So by the time I marry a person (hopefully statistics are against me ;_😉 I'm going to talk about my dislikes/preferences. I'm going to ask them about their sexual history. Not a virgin really, oh my well since you can tell me what you like? or you are a virgin, okay thats fine too. I like you all don't really expect to marry a virgin.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Thoreau

whatphotoshopmypicswhatliesdoyouspeakof?! >D

Quote from kawaiiairbender

Really interesting, my state no one can have oral sex... and I'm sure the people of my state are law abiding citizens 🤣 🤨

Lies...I remember that high school amateur video scandal >_>

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