Right...
So (18+) it is

[color=#ff0000]"“That's the difference between me and the rest of the world!
Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” "[/color]

While riding in a Moscow bus. Two guys behind me were talking smth about a psychology exam and so on. And then:
00 - Did you noticed our knees are setting against the next seat quite hard.
11 - You should just move your ass a little back and it will be ok.

At a college admissions office:

"There's nature and nurture, and then there's the sperm donor."

... What.

I was walking in the town, 2 people in their 50s, man and woman: " we must exploit more the children" ...made me rofl 🤣

Quote from Mamsmilk

Quote from x0mbiec0rp

Quote from Mamsmilk

I need a die with 2 sides.

That's known as a "coin".

Oh, thanks. Too much D&D.

Three 15/16 year olds talking outside a shop at lunchtime:
"What? Your brother went to University and got AIDS in the first three days?"

... that must have been one hell of a freshers week.

we were swimming on the beach and there were two girls..the one is carrying the other...then the other girl shouted:
"You just pressed my thing!"
...then the waves carried me off...

oh please do click this!
The sweeter the apple, the higher the branch. The quieter the fart, the nastier the smell.
GUESS WHO??

Just heard this one the other day outside of a strip mall:

Guy 1: Dude, you know what they said in American Pie? About how pies feel just like the real thing...?
Guy 2: ...Yeah...
Guy 1: Lies, man. Lies. 😮

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Apparently, pies DO NOT always equal pleasure, regardless of what the media tells you.

But what I would like to know is how he came to such a conclusion. 😐

[img]http://i390.photobucket.com/albums/oo346/Disneygotpierced/33es9hw.gif[/img]

...With this alone, I have gone too far. 😐

My memory sucks but there is one conversation I heard in passing way back in my sophomore year of high school. We were doing our mile run in PE and I happened to pass a group of three or four girls and the one in the middle says,

" We fuck all the time. We were doing for like 2 hours once and it was still hard."
Hearing that was a revelation to me. I had no idea girls would talk like that. Girls are freak nasty is what I thought. I became dissilusioned and became paranoid and began seeing other little cracks in the facade. I eventually got over it, but it ain't the same.

Sarcasm just doesn't work over the internet.

While I was walking home, this was said affectionately (kind of).

"A slut. You are a slut."
"The biggest slut."
"What'ya gonna do. "
"A slut always stays a slut."
"Bye."

Suddenly heard this guy in his 50s+ talking on the phone...
lol...

Hrodulf and Bjornolfr, you will not be forgotten.
[img]http://i411.photobucket.com/albums/pp199/SyberAngelGabrielle/couplesig.jpg[/img]
[color=black]And if the world were black and white,
you would be my rainbow in shades of grey.[/color]

Click 'n Play!

If I had a fantasy self, it'd be a tentacle monster.

Dunno whether its funny but if u see this pic, u would understand..

was in the Tower of London where they displayed all the crowns of all the monarchs..(the real deal, man..)

One American mother and child were looking at Queen Victoria's crown..
Child - Mommy, why is Queen Victoria's crown small? did she have a small head>
Mom- No dear, its the crown she wore when she was a child.

[img]http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd199/vivharv/Gokusen-1.jpg[/img]

There is a group of 5 guys (or more, not sure) living in the apartment above me and they are always so loud. Since it's been in the 80s here lately, everybody's windows are wide open and I hear this:

"Stop jamming it in!"

It probably didn't have to do with anything dirty, but I giggled. Teehee.

This was in class when it was dark.

Guy 1: -says to Guy 2- "DUDE I AM NOT LETTING YOU GET ON TOP ON ME!"

fat angry lady to an on duty cop after she ran into him
you better walk away or i'll bust the PO-lice on your ass!

lady reading to a bunch of kids:
and so Helen Keller touched the hair. it was rough and curly. then she moved her hands down and felt something long firm and thick. she liked the feel.
so it turns pout that it was a book about helen keller and a horse. i shit myself after hearing that

lab professor: and so in this situation, the atom leaves and...
idiot college student in my class: professor, i just realized that you drew the atom wrong in your diagram. the atom is a superhero
😐
why was this guy in my sophomore physics course?

Guy 1 ::> You know, it's easier if you move it like this...
Guy 2 ::> But isn't it better if I do like this instead.
Guy 1 ::> Hmmm...
Guy 2 ::> Well?
Guy 1 ::> Not bad...
Suddenly
Girl 1 ::> Oh! Gimme... I can do it better.

They were just Second years solving a Numerical Problem...

http://seleniums-world.blogspot.com

I had an art class teaching 9/12 year olds, and next door there was a really loud, laughing class of old ladies.

"They both do shift work. I mean me and (husband's name) used to work shifts and we never had time to do it; when do you think they have time to do it?"
"We do it regularly when-"
"I think my granddaughter popped her cherry-"
"I remember when I-"
OH GOD NO.

They went on for at least half an hour. So disturbing that I was laughing; I did not need to hear all of that...
But I was angry that they talked that way next door to my class.
Grannies, talk about your sex life (and other people's sex lives) in private . >:-(