guy i knew tried to push doors that said pull on them three times in a row

same guy, tried to kick open a door, someone else opened from the other side, slipped and fell really hard

LOL one time i was bowling with my Bestie. but when i went to throw a bowling ball instead of throwing it on the forward motion i threw it BACKWARD XD it hit the point-computer-counter thing pretty hard _ and the worst part was the fact that i was with my best friend AND her family who reacted >>> 😕 😐 😲 🤣 🙄 *facepalm though ive known her and her family for a while so they were just like "wow Heather wow.... you deserve bonus points!!!" lol

"Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived."- Dalai lama

couple of years ago i was walking out of a resturant and it had the double doors that swung open, so i opened up the first set in the middle, and reached the second set without thinking, and i walked right into a poll between em.

facepalm

Me: I can't do anything on Saturdays. Ever. Okay?
My friend: Alrighty~

Next Friday:
My friend: Hey, I'm going to have a party on Saturday, you have to come~
Me:...I can't do Saturdays.

Next Friday:
My friend: Wanna go play tennis on Saturday?
Me:...I have to work on Saturdays.
My friend: OH! I forgot.

Next Friday: Do you want to go see Bride Wars tomorrow?
Me: NO. I have to work, how many times have I told you this already?! facepalm

♪MONSTARR~ will eat all your cookies and steal your bishies~♪ Φ_Φ

You see, I doodle in class in school...but I already know what's going on and what we're learning that day so it's fine. My friend doodles with me sometimes and always ends up asking me lots of questions about what we learned/what we're supposed to do/how to do something. I get annoyed and facepalm 😀

Lalala~

about a month ago, i found out my gf is cheating on me, with my best friend. and he doesn't know about me and her. so he's not to blame.

when i told him about it, she dump me. but since i didn't have any typical pissed off reaction, and continue my flirting, she decide that she "can't live without me" . and keep working on to piss my best friend off so he'd dump her.

and here's the facepalm inducing part

i always said to "never let a woman comes between friends" .. and i hated my best friend for sleeping with her behind my back. though he DOESN'T know she's with me.

BUT, i slept with her behind HIS back, KNOWINGLY.
and last night, we got caught. and we just shrug it off in front of him. and about an hour ago, i found out they "had a talk" ..

and now, i expect that she's gonna cheat again, and still i can't ditch her.

so right now, guilt, feeling hypocrite, feels like i'm a backstabbing SoB, and chose a woman that's gonna cheat on me over my BEST FRIEND.

and i can't stop facepalming.

Let's get Kickin' ...whatever that means

mine is also bowling-related 🤣
a while back, me and some of my friends went bowling. well, anyways, one of my friends went to throw the ball, but insread of throwing it down her lane, she threew it across two others, down beside the last lane, and through the half open door and down the stairs 🤢 face hits palm repeadetly while laughing my ass off

so in the 10th grade, i went on this backpacking/canoeing trip. the first part was canoeing and i was with my friend in the same canoe. canoeing with a friend is like the worst idea ever. so there was this huge boulder in the exact middle of the river. from the time we saw it, we were like were not gonna hit it were not gonna hit it and sure enough, we hit the damn rock like a motherfucker. it was the only rock in the entire damn river. sad.

Whenever my friend and I make weird noises at the same time and do weird voices and they harmonize without us meaning to. So freaking weird when two guys are playing videogames with their eyes focused on the screen with their mouth open and saying harmonizing gibberish.

Trip Fall Die

GAH! My plot doesn't bend that way!

When Brett Farves says he's really going to retire this time.
When Aaron Rogers fumbles the football this close to the goal line.
When I actually talk to my mom on the phone.
When I get hit on by middle-school boys...again. (I know I look young, but not that young!)
When I don't notice people flirting with me until my parents point it out.
When I show up for a cancled class.
...sometimes I wonder when my face gets a chance to breath...

I am a breath of insanity in a world of chaos.

Me: Performing Random Acts of Klutziness for over 30 years.

So, I was playing Oblivion earlier this morning, and had just finished all the quests for the Dark Brotherhood/Black Hand.

Well, before that i had decided to become a vampire when givin the chance earlier in the brotherhood missions.

Now ya now how sunlight hurts them? Well it had started to bug me(that and the fact that when i went to talk to people they yelled about their blood) so i started to look for the cure.

Well, half way to the witches place by some river i am low on health and find a bed stolen from a bandit, well, since it autosaves and my health was THAT low, i am now stuck in a loop.

I die from sunlight, load up, die again, Repeat.

And i cant get out of it.

Which means i lost all my brotherhood missions.

facepalm

Get lots of facepalm moments whenever I try to talk to anyone from my family. Just.. Gah.. Too many to remember so I'll pick another one.

I had been working on an little essay in school for about 3 hours, had about 2-3 pages written and saved it to go home for the day. And a few minutes later I get an alert from Panda antivirus we had on the laptops that said: "we found a virus in the essay you just wrote and deleted it"

facepalm 😐

Deserves another quote

Quote from blakraven66

Whenever someone says

consensual rape...

This life sucked. Where's the reset button?
Ni carú quelórë

mine is kinda like StarlightDreams. . .

at night. . .

my friend: i really want to get an eyebrow ring
me: go for it
my friend: really! do you want to come with me tomorrow and get it?
me: sure.
my friend: so cool! its going to be so much fun!

tomorrow morning. . .

my friend: hey, did i tell you i'm getting an eyebrow ring?
me: facepalm. 🙄

Was carrying my sis around, she's 1 and was dressing in complete pink from head to toe. This woman was like asking me "boy or a girl?" and i was like "O_________O"""" then she asked if my sis was my daughter O_O;; "DO I LOOK THAT OLD TO YOU?!" xD Dude, if that's true, i had the baby when i was 13.... >___________________>

not even facepalm.. OTL

R-18 below
[img]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/32718267/aot.jpg[/img]
Detective Horror Series

Tracker BakaBT

Quote from chueisha

Was carrying my sis around, she's 1 and was dressing in complete pink from head to toe. This woman was like asking me "boy or a girl?" and i was like "O_________O"""" then she asked if my sis was my daughter O_O;; "DO I LOOK THAT OLD TO YOU?!" xD Dude, if that's true, i had the baby when i was 13.... >___________________>

not even facepalm.. OTL

Congratulations on your new daughter. o__o;