You give your impression and manage to get it across quite well. You have some grammar errors that are annoying, but nothing really blatant.

As for telling about that many characters, there is no point. You don't use all those listed people for anything except listing them, thus there is no point for a person to get that information at all. You usually list the key people since they help explain the plot, but beyond that you only need to list individuals worthy of special comments.

As for the above comments about art, that could really have been developed above an average style as being the only comment. Comparing it to Ippo and Glass mask and stating why it was alike or different might have been one idea.

Just fleshing that out some would have been nice, since there is no sound in manga the art plays all the more important role. Especially so since a lot of mangaka tell parts of their story in the images and not in the text.

Lastly, a comment on the comedy portion. It is dull and can actually be missed if you are not into that type of humour. In the first 60 or so chapters I laughed weakly once I think, and felt like it once or twice more. So I would not say that the humour is a saving grace in any way.

 

it's a good review talking about both the bad and good sides of this manga. The artwork is not the best I've seen but it's also not the worse. So 3/5 is a decent rating.

 

3 out of 5 for drawing style? You're kidding right, that cant be objective. Yusuke Murata is probably one of the best shounen artists right now, an extremely well-defined style, able to draw serious and funny scenes. Incredibly dynamic action-scenes... meh

 

while it is true, that the plot and storyline are terribly dull ( sort of like american wrestling ) the true strength of Eyeshield 21 is that it is very very funny. And has a huge cast of charcters.
I would like to express my respect for the detailed charcter descriptions. I would never have put in all that effort.