words of wisdom... too often ignored

Um, well.... I know this is for people who are none virgins. Nevertheless as a different view point, I am one of the rare people who is a virgin which NEVER wants to lose their virginity.
Sure, I'm still perfectly normal/ there is nothing wrong my sexual drive. (I still imagine sex/ read smut/erotica novels/have seen hentai sometime/ masterbate, and am actually a bit of a perv xD) But I've realized sex is probably not as amazing as it is portrayed in media. And I also don't want to be dependant on someone like that after giving an important piece of myself to them like that -I've already given my first kiss, thank you very much. I've heard to many horror stories, where the girl is abused or the man doesent love her or simply: things just change. And I don't feel like I want to give something I'd lose forever over something that is usually a fickle situation like most relationships in real life seem. I mean lets face it people, -the actual percentage of couples that stay together stay together for more then a dozen years or so (or just a long-lasting period in general) is low. In marriege alone the statistics are as followed.
Marriage Divorce statistics (in percent)
First Marriage 45% to 50% marriages end in divorce
Second Marriage 60% to 67% marriages end in divorce
Third Marriage 70% to 73% marriages end in divorce
(http://www.divorcestatistics.org/)

Anyway, I just know myself and that I would regret losing my virginity, as well as I would probably resent the person having done it to me .
Not to mention (even though this is not as important as the above reason) I hear it hurts for a girl! I don't like pain, and I don't want it! I have no idea just how it hurts, but the most close description I have had is it feels like a cut or either a bad paper cut. And maybe it wouldn't hurt that much, but I still don't like pain if I can help it.

I'm actually very serious about my chastity (not too much to do with being a Christan, more of a personal thing, since most churches are not bossy about the whole "stay a virgin thing"), and have even researched if I were to try to get pregnant in the future.
Now I know some people may think there is no way without giving up ones virginity to have a baby, but that's a lie! There are other methods of contreception without losing my virginity: like having sperm shot near the vaginal opening, instead of in it, as well as having a C Section instead of a natural birth. I really feel that I can find an understanding doctor somewhere to keep me intact and get the baby out lol....

By the way, I'm 18. However I'm confident in this choice of chastity.

P.s. I'm not actually anti relationships though, I just would never have sex in it, so it would have to be an understanding person who wanted to be with me. But if I dont ever find anyone like that either, it's fine. I just dont get why people are taught that if they cannot have actual sex in their relationship, they're not fufilled. but whatever :[

Last edited by LittleKittyGroans at 2:25 am, Apr 23 2011

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Love reading the post above me. ^^^^^

I agree with her views in a lot of ways.

1) Sexual desires
Having sexual desires is normal, but having sex is not the only way to release those 'frustration'. I think it depends on the individual, I never fantasize of having sex with someone even if I am fond of that guy. ..I don't see the point, personally, I find it disgusting to think about having sex with someone whom I am not married to.

My friends always ask me 'how can you live without sex?' ..lol, I always proudly say, 'Wanna read my manga stash?' *wink*

2) Marriage.
Personally, I'm not the kind of person who thinks that marriage is the most wonderful thing in the world or 'my perfect dream of a perfect life'. I see marriage as a societal and religious obligation. I only marry someone whom I respect and in return, he will respect me as a woman. I believe that love can be nurtured after marriage, sex is a way to strengthen the marital bond and reproduce children. The reason why I want to marry someone is that I want to have a family and spend my life raising my children with the values and beliefs that my parents have taught me. And hopefully some day, I will not be dying alone in my deathbed like Humbug Scrooge.

3) Virginity.
Growing up, I thought the whole 'Losing your virginity in highschool/college and chastity clubs' are a myth exaggerated by the media. I dont see the reason why the issue of 'Oh you're still a virgin?' is something to be laughed or embarrassed about?

4) Relationships
I fail at relationships but I have no regrets! The men/boys? in my past relationships have no guts to pressure me into sex because I'm the type of person who will physically or verbally attack someone who touch my hands! If someone is gutsy enough to ask for sex, I'll probably the first one who wants to break up that relationship. For me, there's no point staying in a relationship if the other person does not respect my choice even if it's for the sake of 'love' or getting a husband.

5) Physical aspect of sex.
Once the hymen is torn, you're no longer a virgin. Even if people can surgically restore the hymen, they're still not virgins because the virginity has long lost.

6) Religion
I am deeply religious, I strongly believe in marital sex.

7) Regrets?
None. I am proud of my choice of chastity. I am DAMN proud woman.
F.Y.I, I'm 26 btw.

Last edited by Brucie_kun at 4:18 am, Apr 23 2011

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Rape is imminent.

At the beginning of the school year my best friend and I made a bet on who would lose their virginity first before our senior prom and whoever lost would have to run down a public street naked.

Unfortunately, we both lost. And we decided not to run down a street naked ( I was worried that people would notice my stretch marks)

So I am still a virgin. I haven't even been kissed and you have no idea how... "frustrated" I get sometimes I would like to lose my virginity, preferably to a nice boy who won't mind stretch marks and the fact that he might have to share my love with certain fictional characters and dead authors. No one seems to be interested though, which I blame on my lack of flowery pheromones. I don't really smell like flowers I suppose.

I should also like to fall in love though. O' to fall in love, to be called home to the resevior of love that we each have within ourselves. I think marriage is an unnecessary institution, but I think that love is an opportunity, and if it's a pure love which I believe we are all capable of, to share happiness. "I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propogates fire: I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul... I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams." <----- Like that, I want a love like that. Isn't that just beautiful? Ah.... *sighs sadly and looks into the distance*


...Fuck, I want to live in a goddamn Pablo Neruda poem.

Last edited by DorkFishOK at 11:00 pm, Apr 24 2011

Its not that I don't want too, I just don't want to do it with the wrong person.

________________
“𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑜𝓈𝑒'𝓈 𝓇𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓃𝓈.” ― 𝑀𝒶𝓌𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒶 𝒥𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓁-𝒶𝓁-𝒟𝒾𝓃 𝑅𝓊𝓂𝒾.
あたしは腐女子です。少女漫画、たくさん読んでください。

[quote=LittleKittyGroans]Um, well.... I know this is for people who are none virgins. Nevertheless as a different view point, I am one of the rare people who is a virgin which NEVER wants to lose their virginity.
Sure, I'm still perfectly normal/ there is nothing wrong my sexual drive. (I still imagine sex/ read smut/erotica novels/have seen hentai sometime/ masterbate, and am actually a bit of a perv xD) But I've realized sex is probably not as amazing as it is portrayed in media. And I also don't want to be dependant on someone like that after giving an important piece of myself to them like that -I've already given my first kiss, thank you very much. I've heard to many horror stories, where the girl is abused or the man doesent love her or simply: things just change. And I don't feel like I want to give something I'd lose forever over something that is usually a fickle situation like most relationships in real life seem. I mean lets face it people, -the actual percentage of couples that stay together stay together for more then a dozen years or so (or just a long-lasting period in general) is low. In marriege alone the statistics are as followed.
Marriage Divorce statistics (in percent)
First Marriage 45% to 50% marriages end in divorce
Second Marriage 60% to 67% marriages end in divorce
Third Marriage 70% to 73% marriages end in divorce
(http://www.divorcestatistics.org/)

Anyway, I just know myself and that I would regret losing my virginity, as well as I would probably resent the person having done it to me .
Not to mention (even though this is not as important as the above reason) I hear it hurts for a girl! I don't like pain, and I don't want it! I have no idea just how it hurts, but the most close description I have had is it feels like a cut or either a bad paper cut. And maybe it wouldn't hurt that much, but I still don't like pain if I can help it.

I'm actually very serious about my chastity (not too much to do with being a Christan, more of a personal thing, since most churches are not bossy about the whole "stay a virgin thing"), and have even researched if I were to try to get pregnant in the future.
Now I know some people may think there is no way without giving up ones virginity to have a baby, but that's a lie! There are other methods of contreception without losing my virginity: like having sperm shot near the vaginal opening, instead of in it, as well as having a C Section instead of a natural birth. I really feel that I can find an understanding doctor somewhere to keep me intact and get the baby out lol....

By the way, I'm 18. However I'm confident in this choice of chastity.

P.s. I'm not actually anti relationships though, I just would never have sex in it, so it would have to be an understanding person who wanted to be with me. But if I dont ever find anyone like that either, it's fine. I just dont get why people are taught that if they cannot have actual sex in their relationship, they're not fufilled. but whatever :[[/quote]

OH MY GOD exact same situation here and exact same decision i made,you pretty much put my feelings in words

lost my virginity when i was 16..havent really regretted it, except for the fact that i didnt have lube (the girl i did it with was a virgin to)

________________
"when i'm sad, i stop being sad and be awesome instead."
- Barney Stinson

Hello!!

@LittleKittyGroans & @sarah-eats-cupcakes

Woah! I want a girl like the two of you!!

I want a girl who is okay with not doing "**x" with me, and still wants to marry me and be a really good and close friend to me.

*singing* ~~ I want a 'companion'....., I want a 'support';
I do not want to..., have a 'banging bot'....~~

I mean, I'm so rough and tough that I wonder what will happen to the girl I do "that" with.

In fact, though I look really skinny, my school friends knew somewhat about my toughness, and they even used to joke about it, like, "I wonder what will will happen to the girl he is going to have "**x" with, I think she will be a complete mess or something like that, right?*laughing out loud*."
(they used to think that I'll definitely bang the life out of any girl with whom I'll have "**x")


So, you see, I only want to do it with someone whom I love, and don't want my beloved person to be in pain. What kind of love it is if you can't understand the pain of your beloved one for your own pleasure?!

That's why, I decided to never do "that" with anyone.

Even before my friends started joking about me, I already knew it myself that I'm a really rough and tough guy. So, I was wondering that how can I handle someone I love with this sort of toughness!
I mean, though I look weak and thin, I'm a super monster inside.
So, I don't want to let loose that monster on my beloved one!

Like a great person(TheSG) said(O_0 I was that great person?!!):
*In a loud and raising tone* "When the mighty sword that doesn't look impressive comes into action;
It not only tear apart the petals, but also chops them off their base....."


I also want to ask something from the two of you!!

If you don't want the guy to have "**x" with you, then you won't allow him to do it with anyone else either?!

I mean, everyone has sexual desires, especially when you are talking about guys, you don't even need to ask.

So, I think you should give them the freedom to do it with someone else if not with you!
Because they will feel frustrated to have you around as their wife but still can't do anything like that with you. It will ultimately result in a broken relationship.

I mean, if you really like the guy or if you care about him, then you should think about his feelings and desires.
And if he's acting good enough by not having "**x" with you, then you should let him do it with someone else to satisfy his desires.
It's just too selfish to expect the guy to not have sex with anyone and just sit around dreaming about it throughout his life, like, "Ooooh, do I really have a wife?! Huh? then why isn't anyone taking care of this thing down there?! It's acting like as if it's saying, "Hail ho!". Man....., I want a girl!! Huh? But I do have a girl in my house right now, who is supposed to be my wife?!!?!"

Even if there's a guy who tells you that he can do without having "**x" with you, he is just saying it. Guys can't control themselves for long, that is, when you're his wife, there's no way he's going to wait for long to do "that" with you. If he really isn't doing it with you, then there's a great chance that he's doing "that" with someone else. In cases like this, there's a great chance of extra-marital affairs because people are not satisfied with their 'married life'.
So why not allow him yourself to do that with other girls?!! Then everything will be even!

Otherwise, One day, ultimately, he will jump upon you, and then he will explore each and every part of you to his content to satisfy his frustrated desires.*Muhahahaha*
And, it could be more like a rape, so to prevent such situation you should allow him to do "that" with others.

I mean, normally and usually people marry to copulate and reproduce, if they just want a good friend, then there are many more choices for that. They don't have to marry to just have a good friend.

Well, I'm a super-rare and super-exceptional case, so it's fine with me even if you don't want me to do "that" with someone else.

But what about other guys?!!!
You won't find anyone like what you want, if you can't even allow "him" to do "that" with others!
You have to let them, or else they will feed upon you. *Muhahahaha*

I hope you are getting it now clearly that your thinking is too selfish and childish.

Any questions? Ask 'The SG'!!


See you!!

Last edited by Identity Crisis at 10:36 pm, May 8 2011

I lost mine when I was 20, so not that long ago (I am 21 now). People might say that's late, but whatever, at least I wasn't too young. It was in a good situation with somebody I loved, and that was perfect for me. I never really cared about sex that much anyway, probably because until her I hadn't had a proper relationship, but even now afterwards I don't care that much. Yeah it's fun, but honestly I'd much rather be curled up or just relaxing with somebody.

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I'm still a virgin (a virgin, not naïve) for the following reasons: I don't like pain, and I don't have anyone I love whom I trust enough to know he'll do whatever is possible to prevent me from getting hurt, and swallow his pride and do as he's told (it's my body, I'm the one that gets hurt if he screws up; so, he should just shut up and listen to the one who's done the research )

I only want to be with one person in my life (call me boring, but fidelity means a lot to me), and prefer not to lose my virginity until I'm married (I'm an atheïst, so it's not because of what some book says I should do, but a descision made by my own volition).

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It isnt as painful as you think it is...only the first part is...but it is always good to do it with one you love...


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I don't have anyone I love, and I don't know if I'm even capable of falling in love since it's never happened to me before. And I have a feeling that this is the kind of thing that may hurt just a bit in the moment, but is then going to be annoying for another week (if it's anything like papercuts it'll itch a lot; my skin is already very sensitive, and I really can't take the itching); I'd rather just have muscle pain, that's easier for me to tolerate.

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If it means anything, I don't consider that boring at all, and lots of people I know including myself would find that admirable.

Seconded, though that means something a tad different for the first part, seeing as I'm the one.....yeah, you get the picture.
Edit - For me, marriage is not a necessity though. I think that a monogamous long term relationship is basically marriage, just not official. So for me, it's the commitment that matters. A couple that almost perfectly reflects my ideal couple -

Marshall and Lily, from How I Met Your Mother

Last edited by Casey D. Geek at 5:42 am, May 8 2011

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There are times when you will miss what you never had. I wonder how you will find what you so desperately need.

@ Casey D. Geek

So you don't like following orders?


I'd probably choose to be on top the first time round anyway; I'm a firm believer in the phrase "if you want something done right, you're going to have to do it yourself".

Additional benefit is, when I'm the one doing the moving that if something goes wrong, I'd only have myself to blame; and for a girl every movement would be a conscious descision, whereas guys are at risk of having instinct take over and unintentionally end up hurting their partner.

Edit: It'd be easier for me to get over myself when bound by an official contract (for me the ceremony would be far more important than signing a piece of paper at city hall though; I could get over myself after only having a ceremony, but I wouldn't feel any different after signing the registration).
I also think it's important to be comfortable being naked around each other before even attempting to have sex; because if you're nervous you'll tense up and increase the probability of sustaining injury.

Last edited by WandereroftheDeep at 2:52 pm, Dec 3 2011

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