and for that matter just have mean people dating one another! it's like we exist just to dilute the hate

**Sorry this topic was a reply to the "Questions for Otaku Girl's" thread but i didn't want to spin that thread off topic


girls say that but i've found girls tend to usually not go after legitimately intelligent people until they reach some degree of success - no offense, but usually girls tend to go after weak posers, addicts, degenerates, and lying bastards - only to complain to their legitimately carring "just friends" guy about how messed up their boyfriend is

actually on that point guys do the same thing! only we end up dating psychos, parasites, abusive, and disloyal / 'really open girls'


finding open minded people is something i've come to find generally equally as difficult

Guys are always the same, popular or "otaku."

I see right through you >.>

The secret is to get around. You can't base the entire female/male population on the little part of town you live in.

Besides, I think there is a topic similar to this one. Somewhere.

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I agree, it seems like you're basing all this off of a small circle of people. Nice people date other nice people, it's just that they most likely don't live anywhere near each other, and it takes a while for them to find each other.

Last edited by loosecannon504 at 5:53 pm, Dec 30 2009

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i kindda dont get it...
why is something like this a problem??
what i think is this:
sometimes girls tend to pick bad boys instead because they are thinking in the back of their minds that perhaps if they give that guy their love then perhaps he will be changed into a better person...thats what i think...and women have this fantasy around their head about a bad boy who will come and make their life more amusing because they are so sick of being good...or something around that...

but there are a lot of holes in this kind of relationship...because the guy didnt changed for the better and later turned into a wife beater...

about your question about why dont nice people date each other...i think that its because 2 positive poles repel...for example my crush and me...actually he became my crush because he is so like me...we are so alike that its actually disturbing...but the thing is we keep on arguing<yeah talk about lovely complex!>...

so what i think is that opposite people as in <mean + nice> are dating each other because opposite poles attract...and the relationship is more interesting that way...

Last edited by otakuness at 5:44 am, Dec 31 2009

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oh please do click this!
The sweeter the apple, the higher the branch. The quieter the fart, the nastier the smell.
GUESS WHO??

it's not really a problem, i'm just curious as to what other groups of people think



these past 5 years or so I've been in a line of work/study that forces me to travel (although admittedly i rarely get to stay in a place more than a few working days) my opinions come based on my observations of how the various young people i've encountered are in the following countries:

United States of America (all three coast and Hawaii)
China (southern and Hong Kong)
Argentina
Philippines
Netherlands
Belgium
Germany (coastal northern)
Ukraine
United Kingdom (england)
Trinidad & Tobago
Dominican Republic

i've also been fairly close with people from the following places not mentioned:
South Korea
Singapore

and my heritage is of dual nationality, so i'm not completely ignorant of the big world out there (i'm under 25, so i'm not a fossil either...)


how so?

i think the split is probably something along the lines of 50% - 35% - 15% across both genders

Well. You have the macho guys, and they want the pretty, under their control ladies. You have the "otakus, geeks, loners, etc." and they want the pretty, under their control ladies. Too many guys seem to bitch about the same thing, but a lot of them don't realize that they will not go for someone similar to themselves. They have higher expectations, which brings on the bitching and moaning about girls having higher standards, etc, etc...

It reminds me of Love Hina. The girl is abusing the hell out of the guy. He didn't do crap. That doesn't happen in real life. At least, not on the planet I'm on. If you get caught in an odd position, like in a girls lap if you were tipped over, she is not going to slap you. Girls are not scary, and they will waste their time on you, you are not "out of their league." We are not in a movie, jeez.

The entire thing is sort of annoying, it always has been.
Call me stereotypical, whatever. Point is, there is at least one person out there that you can get along with, that shares your interest. Only thing is, people get so caught up on the shiny boots they bring in on the line that they're not even fishing in the right area.

And I'm not going to blame my own gender. At least, not the percentage that thinks the way I do. I'm more familiar with guys going for girls that have looks, boobs and a two faced personality, than girls that go for good looking abusers with a heavy bank account. But to me, that only happens in movies. Because I don't associate with people like that, and I'm not one of them either.

If I was in a relationship with someone like myself, I would probably kill them eventually. Maybe literally. This makes more sense because how many people are secure with themselves? Then I guess that explains the people that are secure with themselves, and can go for people with similar personalities. Probably why Jock is to Cheerleader as bread is to cheese, eh?

Of course if you look at less extreme personalities (opposed to otaku) two people that are similar can go great together. Like two people that prefer the indoors and have a passion for cats. Though if they prefer to be alone and spend all 24 hours looking up Haruhi's skirt...well, that'll cause some problems.

Though to reply to your previous comment, girls do tend to go for weak posers. In fact, every woman in my family has ended up with a drunk of a husband, though I think at this point that's just a metaphor. All I can say is, going for the best looking, richest guy around is not the best thing to do. People are deceiving. But you know, I'd take that over getting involved with that creepy dude down the street that has weird smells coming from his trash outside.

Just saying.
</end>

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I have to agree with otakuness here on a personal scale. Not sure if its just because the outgoing girls are more interesting or is it because I've been pretty much living a mundane (its mundane but I wouldn't trade it for anything else) life without worries that most people have. I find interest in people who are rather spontaneous or random as I personally find it difficult to cope with such situations of spontaneity. Its almost of an admirable level but sometimes I also realise that I have come this far due to the kind of life style I had. So its kind of a love-hate relationship where I think its very admirable and yet childish at different times.

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Do not feed the trolls

I'd like to think that I'm dating a nice person, and that I'm a nice person. So that just proves your logic wrong.

You are generalizing, and I think that it's more complex than that. I respect your diverse background (I wish I can travel!), and I'm not claiming to be right. To be honest though, what one defines as "nice" may be different to another. No one is going to be perfect and everyone has their flaws.

I don't really think that the whole jocks, nerds, or what-have-you can be applied to the majority of people. Sure it's common in high school, but as we get older I don't really think they exist (with certain exceptions). I find it silly to label people at my age; I'm also under 25.

I never really understood where (it seems like) the whole male population get the perception that women only like to date "the losers." One thing that came to mind was that society only likes to hear/gripe about the negative rather than the positive. I can say that I've seen domestic abuse as a topic in my local news more often that I'd like, but I can't ever remember a story about a fantastic, perfect man in a happy and healthy relationship.

Yes, girls and guys (especially teens) are equally likely to make mistakes in the "what I think I want" department. Some of it comes from lack of experience, some of it comes from what they've seen and what they know (or think they know), and some of it comes from experimentation. Not everyone falls into this trap, of course.

Once you recognize that's what you've "settled for", it's up to you to change what you look for and don't "settle for less".

A lot of people, especially young people, make the mistake of thinking "S/He'd be perfect if s/he would just change _X_." and then make the second mistake of thinking they can change that about a person. You can't make a person change.

However, you can potentially help the other person to see the problem with being _Y_ and get them to want to change themselves to be more like _X_. But that requires a lot of patience and love (sometimes including "tough love") - and most teenagers don't have the time, energy, or desire to spend that kind of effort on another individual - most are still fairly ego-centric.

It generally takes a few more years before most people reach the point of being willing to spend that sort of effort on other people - some never reach that point. And even then, sometimes it will work, and sometimes it won't - and it's the hardest thing in the world to recognize that there are times when you have to cut your losses and let go of whatever you were trying to accomplish because the other person isn't willing to change yet. (In other words, don't enable.)

It's generally a lost cause until the other person decides to change. Until that point, the best you can do is watch from the sidelines until they're ready, then be there when they need it.

Edit: There are plenty of nice people looking for nice people.
It's possible that the percentage of teenagers looking for "nice people" might be lower than at higher age-groups (or is at least perceived as such). The problem is that teenagers are typically limited by location and circumstance, whereas adults may be less limited in that regard.

Last edited by Liria at 1:14 pm, Jan 2 2010

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If you've ever thought or said "Nice Guys finish last" and really meant it, then you should probably read this LJ post by DivaLion. It's incredibly insightful whether you're male or female.

From a bumper sticker I like:
"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

Your input are compelling and wise as always Liria.

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Do not feed the trolls

Why can't nice folks date each other?

Because they're stupid.

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Listen here
Livin just to keep from dyin

hmmm, some things to think about, thanks for your input everyone ^_^