Just started working at a new position for a bit, but I think my employers may suspect me of something I didn't do. I don't want to quit because that would make me look guilty, but I may be fired soon. Of course, I may be paranoid (I think I have Social Anxiety), but the last time I had a feeling...

I already have a bucket of ice-cream to deal with the fallout. I'm eating some right now in dread.

So has anything like this happened to you before? How did you deal with it? What did you learn?

I've never been fired from a job (more than seven years of work experience spent in four different companies), but I once did come close to offering my resignation because of a very serious situation. If you have another tub of ice cream, consider sharing it with a friend or two - the company of people you trust can help you deal and give you a better perspective.

Never been fired. But just want to say that reaserch show we tend to overestimate the impact on our happyness that certain happenings will have on us. For example you may get very happy when you win millions in a lottery, but soon afther your happynes will stabelize back to what it was before. You may get handicappet for the rest of your life and immediatly get really sad over it, but soon your happiness will go back to what it was before.

Our happiness is really stable over time. Big happenings in our life dosent affect our happiness as mutch as we think it will. What really affect happiness over time are small things that happens over and over in our dayle life. Like meeting friends and famely, exercising, doing things we like, paying atention to beautiful things, learning new stuff, etc.

I read about this in Harvard Business Reviuw. I think it was the january-february one.

It may not be of anny practical help, but maybe being conscious about this can be good.

Sorry for bad english

________________
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) - "Man is more ape than many of the apes."

Jean-Paul Sartre - "You are--your life, and nothing else."

Henrik Ibsen - "The majority is always wrong; the minority is rarely right."

bump

I was working as a technician and after working for the full 90 days, I got fired.
My Boss told me that I sucked and that I lacked skills in life. I was 18 at the time.

Even after learning how to make allot of money online, I still felt the lingerings of feeling like a loser. I don't know why. My family, friends, and my EX-coworkers told me to get over it that things happen - that it's not a big deal. But it was. Not only was I fired, my boss straight up told me I sucked. And i believed it.

So I went to church and I told my problems to the pastor. The pastor was about to tell me his consoling words and then someone shouts, "You're not a loser - you're sexy."
And it so happens that it was the pastor's daughter. She was about my age and very cute. I went out with her.

So to cut the long story short. I got over it when I met someone special enough to tell me I wasn't a loser. I guess I needed someone new and beautiful to help me recover...

I've never been fired but I have been in plenty of positions where I've gotten in trouble to the point of being afraid of being fired.

I dunno how your boss is, but usually I try to communicate with my boss the best I can. If I'm upset or anxious about something I will write a letter or ask for a meeting.

It is unfair and stressful for you to feel anxious, to not know. Sit down with your boss and figure out what they want to do out right and what you can do to make the situation better.

Good luck!

And btw: There are plenty of jobs out there waiting for deserving people. Maybe this is your push into something better?

________________

Lost my job twice. The first time I was simply fired because they were reducing the number of workers. The second time I resigned myself because I had messed up. Luckily not seriously enough to be fired, but my superior said it would probably be better to resign, since my chances for career growth would be slim if I stayed.

Both times I spent a week or so being lazy and doing nothing to forget the previous job. Then I went and looked for a new job. Being sad won't get food on my table and electricity in my PC.

And as the saying goes: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

Thanks guys, for sharing your experiences. I'll just bump this in case people want to share more. People around me all seem like they've never had to deal with a difficult situation like this, so hearing your opinions is helpful.

Wshin, so what's going on with you now?

I resigned before and got fired before.

I resigned because the company sucked. The boss was stingy and he didn't know it.

I got fired because I wanted to change the company and what I was doing was not something the management wanted. They pretended that they were fixing my computer to block me from taking any data from them, then checked my bag and escorted me out of the building. It was me and another team leader. We didn't cry. The people who stayed and witnessed cried, so I'm pretty sure we weren't in the wrong.
I cried after that though. I was pissed =]

Getting fired can be tough.
If you are afraid of it, do something about it. Talk to your boss, if you think it'll fix your current situation since you want to stay.
If it doesnt fix your situation, then the worst it can be is that you actually get fired. If you do, then that company, the one that does not trust you or consider your side of the story, is really not for you, right?

Nani0918, thanks for replying! Great to see this thread is alive.

So right now, I think it's okay. But today I messed up a bit...I've only been in the position for a few months. = _ =. Getting out of bed is like: (: S). I always feel a bit scared and anxious each day. I hope I get over this in time.

Sounds like you did the right thing, which is really brave of you. I don't think I would have had the guts to do that.

How did you recover? I'd like to know since I think it would hurt my self-esteem a lot...not that I'm brimming with lots right now. > . <

Hey Wshin,

I guess I didn't have time to think about recovery in my case. I got fired on Friday and got another job on Monday through a connection of one of the people from the company that fired me. Talk about unexpected things.

About self-esteem, I think it hurt me more when I was searching for jobs. I spent 1 whole year, changing from 1 job to another, searching for the right one, and it hurt me a lot when I went to interviews but didn't get the job.

Getting fired because of something you didn't do shouldn't hurt your self-esteem, rationally speaking. It should hurt you financially first, then it will disrupt your daily life's routine, then it'll only hurt your self-esteem if you can't find another job soon.

Anyway, that's just from my opinions.

One thing I don't get is why are you still with this job when you are so scared everyday? Is the boss really scary? Is he/she threatening to fire you?

alot of things factor into this...

what country does the OP live in
is work easy to come by?
what education does OP have

in alot of countries today you cant just go down to the unemployment office and ask for a job
you will face 1-2years of unemployment[pretty normal in alot of european countries] and depending on circumstances you might not get much money during this time
and if that person dont have a relationship so that he/she can keep up with payments he/she might be asked to move back home/sell their car/ ASO if the social workers feel that you have too many unimportant money holes

you make it seem like its all awesome and fun and should look at this like an opportunity
when its really not

i dont know what to do OP
fall in line
kiss up to the boss
do as your told allways
and hope
just hope
that a more humane political party will win next election and remove the egotistical and elitist thinking that drive all companies of today

of course if your upperclass [or middleclass that act upper] you will have lots of friends [most likely] that can get you into other companies

first time I resigned to work on a project with an acquaintance
but he messed up the contract (agreed on a deadline we couldn't reach)
so I ended up working for 3months (programming with lack of sleep) and not getting payed for my efforts ......
i didn't recover since then (3years) am still unemployed and a failure at everything
(no progress on my personal life)
that was the worst period of my life (wait maybe I'll see even worse stuff in the future)
i may turn into a Hiki soon

=( this is quite a depressing topic... I was off-work for a year because I was searching for something that was not meant to be.... I ended up doing something completely different.

All I can say is that, once you hit rock-bottom, the only way is up. It can't be worse.

Getting fired or quitting a job in a bad way, work is only a part of your life. It's not all of you. You control it, not the other way around.

I know I'm talking nonsense when I dont know you & your life, but sometimes all you need is a little bit of foolishly positiveness!

Recover? Actually I was quite relieved and even got a job a few days later! Then I got SICK from the work conditions of my next job ON THE FIRST DAY! WOKE UP LATE THE NEXT DAY SICK AND LATE!