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New Poll - Polygamy
This week's poll was suggested by jacob66. Simple question about polygamy.

You can submit poll ideas here

Previous Poll Results:
Question: Do you prefer tea or coffee?
Tea - votes: 1630 (38.9%)
Coffee - votes: 920 (21.9%)
I like both equally! - votes: 808 (19.3%)
I dislike both - votes: 449 (10.7%)
Does boba count? - votes: 385 (9.2%)
There were 4192 total votes.
The poll ended: May 28th, 2022 7:31am PDT

I prefer fruit teas without boba. I don't drink much caffeine...
Posted by lambchopsil on 
May 28th 7:40am
Comments ( 28 )  
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Comments (limited to first 100 replies)

» VawX on May 28th, 2022, 7:46am

Do I want to be in a polygamy situation? No mmm...
Do I think it's wrong? Also no mmm...

If every party is okay then i really don't see the problem mmm...


» sloez on May 28th, 2022, 11:15am

i don't see why it would be wrong if everyone in the relationship is okay with it


» Hell_Clues on May 28th, 2022, 1:49pm

What a disgustingly baited, worded, question. "Is this thing wrong if nothing is wrong with it? "
You eliminated what is wrong with it. Which is the abuse and emotional pain of it. And created a fantasy scenario.
People can be okay with any thing, but it doesn't make it right. In Saw, you had someone being okay with cutting their leg off. In Squid Game, it had the illusion of choice.

There's usually someone pushing for it, essentially forcing the other person to adapt or adopt it. Holding their love hostage, especially if it's after the relationship has been formed.

Look at that situation with that videogamer, and this is one of the two most common, a hot girl wanting to sleep around or else she'll leave or feel compelled, or oppressed by it. And when the guy started it, she called him a cheater.

Before any tv shows I saw some stuff on the type of mormons with multiple wives. He essentially just went for the youngest. And there were problems of emotions, which should be obvious. He was essentially just adding a younger one over time.

There is an abuse to this. An emotional manipulation that is constant. I'm not trying to exaggerate it, I'm not speaking of physical or verbal. In this case, it's a situation and manipulative. Either to get into it, and keep it, or to be in that situation. And it isn't any better because a woman forces a man into it. This sort of soft abuse is emotionally painful.

And it's also just not how human emotions tend to work when you keep activating that early love with someone else. Just because it's convenient to have it. And someone else is weak, or doesn't want to lose you, and will stay like an abuse victim in such a relationship that they don't really want to be in. And those people know that.
They aren't caring about you, and your desires, when what they want is convenience for themselves. They aren't loving you.


» HikaruYami on May 29th, 2022, 3:06pm

lmao I agree that "most" situations are like you say, and I definitely am not interested in such relationships myself, but I have met successful polycules where 2+ single people already interested in polyamory got together with the explicit intention of being polyamorous and then, you know, were. So your giant, literally 6-paragraph tirade on why this is impossible to be issue free is, empirically, simple bias.

Most polyamory is abusive and destined to fail. But if you take out the obvious issues that crop up in most cases? There's nothing fundamentally wrong with it, so I voted No.

I imagine most of the "yes"es are from religious people and the rest of the yeses are just from people similarly biased or otherwise stupid.


» Animechic420 on May 28th, 2022, 2:32pm

Polygamy is disgusting and anyone believes it isn't is just as disgusting.


» ElKaichou on May 31st, 2022, 8:34am

Guess I'm disgusting because there's nothing wrong with it.


» neofryboy on June 3rd, 2022, 8:01pm

You are disgusting and there's nothing wrong with that. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ


» Aremon on May 28th, 2022, 2:38pm

Never really did get why polygamy/polyandry is illegal and cheating is not...
Which technically mean that as long as you aren't formally married you can have as many "wives/husbands" as you want. Sort of like William Moulton Marston...


» Alwerien on May 29th, 2022, 12:59am

I'd say it's fine if the people truly are okay with it (like maybe they like the third person too so it's not just 1 person married to two people but three people equally married to each other), but... Not in the way where they're "okay" with it just because it's something expected in the society they live in or slowly brainwashed by the poly person. In the end, how different is that from stockholm syndrome?


» sloez on June 3rd, 2022, 9:50pm

if they are all equally love and are married to eachother i think that its called polyamory


» residentgrigo on May 29th, 2022, 3:17am

Polygamy is currently only recognized in Muslim nations. By and large:

Do I have an issue with heterosexual men and only them having a bunch of cis-gendered heterosexual wives with no room for anything else? I guess not? Other forms of polygamy are essentially non-existent on this planet and would go against the definition of the word. Would I have an issue with trans or gay multi-partner relationships being legally recognized or polyandry? Also no. Will that happen? Lol.


» Joese on May 29th, 2022, 3:23am

I put yes BUT...

Even though in theory nothing should be wrong, history has showed us time and again how this system doesn't usually work. I mean, there are many difficult situations in them and pasional crimes usually happen, at least in my country and other European ones it was forbidden by law for many reasons ... (Just like how religious people weren't initially forbidden to have a family everything ,(specially laws), has it's reasons)

But then again that would be more referring to marriage /civil pairs/(or however a legally bound group of people is called in your country)... If it isn't that way the problems of jealousy still pop up, but in that case you can just leave whatever relation you're in (though emotional dependence and affective inteligencie is usually a failed subject for most people. Everyone sees how toxic relations are bad, yet they usually don't break up because of dependence).

PD.:though even casual relations are legally binding in some places.

Mixing sports or whatever hobby with a political idea can breed all sorts of radical groups, if you include sex in the mix is gets even crazier with cults and stuff... There are probably instances of them working, usually overly relying on the group to purge unwanted behaviour, but just like in any other types of groups once the wrong kind of dynamic/behaviour kicks in, it just turns into a big toxic relation, even when done right, with time, if the group doesn't evolve it dissolves (I mean even in monogamic relationships one of them can outlive the other/break up) or the group usually ends up delegating decisions on each other, but what happens when one leaves...

Society can probably evolve to have and normalise them again, who knows (in many countries it's legal). Even thought it has its obvious flaws, in the past/present there also instances of them working, but then again, even in the current society, not everyone has the mental fortitude to break up and this problem is enhanced to a terrifying degree in polygamy .


» hkanz on May 29th, 2022, 6:28pm

Yeah, it is. There's no reason why a woman would want to be one of many wives. Though the poll states 'where all parties know and are okay with being married', someone being brainwashed by their religion or culture into thinking that men are entitled to harems isn't what I would describe as them having a free choice. There's a reason why polygamy is illegal here, and it isn't prudishness.


» alidan on May 29th, 2022, 8:38pm

its illegal here because of taxes and insurance reasons.

and you have to be kidding yourself if you think women wouldn't willingly toss themselves at the highest value man they can get, be it looks/money/power


» hkanz on May 29th, 2022, 9:59pm

Edit: Deleting this post to abide by my principle of trying not to engage. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ


» Joese on May 31st, 2022, 5:10am

XD Good choice. Sometimes being less categorical can evade this kind of stuff, but it also makes life lackluster.


» blackkittycat15 on June 1st, 2022, 5:52am

Have you ever considered biwoman? I notice a lot of people also have the preconception that the man is in charge, not two girls and a boytoy. Or even two men and one woman.

I will admit I've seen plenty of open relationships that work well, and one of my friends was in a polygamous relationship. She has one guy for romance and the other for sex, I don't even know how she balanced it but everyone was happy (if you're wondering what ended it, one became an unemployed alcoholic).


» hkanz on June 1st, 2022, 3:49pm

Personally I have no problem with an open relationship where both members of the couple are free to pursue outside sexual relationships and fine with their partner doing so. What bothers me about polygamy (I thought that related only to one men + multiple women but it looks like that may be polygyny and the opposite is polyandry?) is that it generally appears in a cultural context and when itโ€™s a cultural norm or ideal for one gender to be allowed multiple spouses and the other gender to be one of many spouses, thatโ€™s gender discrimination. It also too often seems to involve underage girls. For instance, this nutty Christian community in Canada:,_British_Columbia


» KennEH! on June 2nd, 2022, 3:52pm

I'm ok with it, but only a handful people can do it successfully. By successfully I mean everyone in the relationship is happy and thriving.

It's kind of like owning a monkey. People think how awesome it is, forgetting it's a ton of work and commitment. Even then when you follow through properly it could still rip your face off.

Quote from hkanz
Personally I have no problem with an open relationship where both members of the couple are free to pursue outside sexual relationships and fine with their partner doing so. What bothers me about polygamy (I thought that related only to one men + multiple women but it looks like that may be polygyny ...

Mormons? What a shock! ๐Ÿ™„


» alidan on May 29th, 2022, 8:36pm

do I think its wrong? no
do I think it works? rarely in society where arranged marriages and multiple wives aren't the norm.


» amy_levi on May 30th, 2022, 1:37pm

Yes. Simple as that. I'm actually shocked that so many people seem to think (seem to) that it isn't. But meh, that's "modern society" for you.


» train93 on May 31st, 2022, 11:11am

It's not "wrong". I just don't think it's really effective. The relationships between all the parties involved are never the same, and with time it's very rare that everyone is truly "okay" with it. Heck, you often get jealous siblings, and even jealous friends, let alone partners.

Exclusivity in a romantic relationship is often one of its strong point, at least to me.


» Seiya0890 on May 31st, 2022, 10:32pm

Wow so many people saying "no" O_O.
I believe this question formulation is not correct though. Let's be honest most women and men (in developed countries) don't want to be part of a polygamy. This question mainly refer to what we are seeing in most nowadays light novels / isekai harem. Since these 2D characters are usually ok (author power) with it... Many people will say it's "fantasy" but I disagree, its "phantasm".


» Katsono on June 1st, 2022, 10:21am

I'll generally use the following logic: if nobody gets hurt or affected, then I don't care what other people do. I don't believe anyone is affected by some triple/quadruple so my answer is therefore obvious. I'm absolutely not interested by such a relationship though.

As for why it's forbidden, it's mostly because polyGAMY, which means a man with multiple spouses. The reverse situation is polyandry, and is much much rarer. Polygamy typically exists in countries where women don't have the same rights as men and therefore was seen as a treat to gender equality. Since polyandry was such a rare case, it was assumed to be non-existent therefore allowing relationships with multiple partners would mostly concern polygamy. However, the poll title should be revised imo.

By the way, polygamy/andry is not illegal in most countries however the marriage system does not allow for a third person. You are nonetheless free to have a relationship with a third person (excluding laws about cheating) but you will find yourself handicapped in multiple situations: marriage (which can help with taxes), having a child, etc.

I have no idea how a relationship like that would work honestly but I've mostly seen a relationship where A and B are in love with C who loves them both, rather than the three people loving each other equally. Maybe I'm wrong though, I don't know much about this and it's not every day you encounter such a relationship.


» mallika23 on June 1st, 2022, 2:25pm

I don't want to be involved in polygamy and I don't agree with it, but I think the concept of polygamy itself is not wrong, depends on the circumstances, the consent of the first wife, and the reason behind it.

Polygamy is not only about consent. It's also about the person, if he can treat his wives fairly (in material and non-material aspects). However, I know there are people nowadays who did polygamy only because they wanted young wives, or that they wanted to show their superior masculinity.. I don't think people like this can actually treat/love his wives fairly.

(Though of course, I speak about polygamy in Islam from a non-moslem perspective as I live in a moslem-majority country, and I might be wrong.)


» Raven on June 1st, 2022, 7:03pm

I have absolutely no interest in pursuing a relationship like that but if all parties are willing participants, I see no issue with it. It's when it is forced, coerced, or involving child brides that it becomes an issue and I can't support that.


» K9ofChaos on June 9th, 2022, 6:38pm

I'm not a fan of polygamy, polygyny, polyandry or anything in-between. Trying to manage multiple romantic/sexual relationships is too much of a hassle if you ask me. Managing one monogamous relationship keeps it simple. Sure, if all parties consented to it, I can't stop them from doing so (nor would I want to). I'm still going to consider it a bad idea from the get go. This applies not only to one man with many wives, but one woman with many husbands, one man with many husbands, one woman with many wives, one man with many husbands and wives and one woman with many wives and husbands as well. Granted, I don't mind it being explored in fictional contexts like the harem genre for example. But I'd rather keep that within the realm of fantasy than try to seriously apply the idea of having a harem in real life.


» Sugarshark on June 13th, 2022, 11:56am

if you can find a unicorn you should probably try and ride it
unicorns are make believe