Am I the only person who saw hope in this book? I deeply believe that the author wrote this partly to offer condolence. I think she imbued some hope in this dark novel too. Anyways.....

After reading the reviews for this manga, I thought it would be WAY too depressing for me. I figured my brain would shut down and decide to forget about this, and I would abandon the manga altogether.

But I finished it. (even though truth be told, it was depressing as hell most of the time)

This manga was not just melodrama and tragedy. While the first 2/3 of the series is focused on Jeremy's suffering, the last 1/3 shows his gradual liberation and growth. Despite the heavy air, this manga gives people hope---or at least it gave me hope. Furthermore, it leaves readers with quite a bit of philosophy to chew on.... accompanied by mysterious quotes.

My favorite is: I paraphrased it----not sure why this quote stuck out to me....
"People desire sacrifices in order to keep themselves from falling apart. But God desires sacrifices too, as his world is always breaking." ~ Ian's sympathetic remark towards both Greg's actions and Jeremy's tragic circumstances.

The story also deals a lot with various aspects of love and its warped connection to abuse. If you do decide to read this, ponder over it a bit... It's quite intriguing. That is not to say that there weren't disgusting aspects. In fact, for the first few volumes, I was thoroughly grossed out--but hung on because I had hoped for Jeremy's eventual salvation. And I personally believe that Jeremy is moving in a good direction. The ending was satisfying for me because it was not only realistic, but also subtly optimistic. While some may find it sad and hopeless, I think the ending hinted at Jeremy's eventual salvation. He was getting better, and although everything seemed like a sad and long dream, he was gradually coming to terms with himself--even if he never forgets his "crimes."

But anyways, give this a try. It's sure to capture your philosophical side, if only for a while.

... Last updated on July 25th, 2014, 10:03pm

It took me time to adjust to the older art style (My initial reaction to Jeremy was holy curls!), but it quickly grew onto me. I also personally love the setting, England. Gives it a nice unique touch.

Generally, I thought all the characters were well developed. Quite the cast of depressing folks.. exactly my cup of tea. Contrary to the reviewer below me, I adored Jeremy.
I thought that his character was well fleshed out. The perfect epitome of a broken, dying child lost in despair. Since the reader sees everything from Jeremy's point of view, it makes the experience all more real and terrifying. In my case, it made me feel more emotionally attached to Jeremy, after seeing everything he suffers. I enjoyed most of the other side characters as well such as Valentine, Majorie, William . Although I can't say the same for Greg & Sandra, but that's a given.

Although the manga is quite long, I was never bored. The story was suspenseful and shrouded with mystery, which kept me hooked. On the topic of the controversial subject matter.. well it is what it is. If you don't dig that stuff (rape, pedophilia, sexual molestation), or can't stomach it, then best you turn away from this manga. IMO, I thought it was very realistically and hauntingly depicted. For example, how Jeremy slowly deteriorates, struggles with inner conflicts, isolates himself from others, gets involved with drugs, etc and how those around him are oblivious to all the clues that he screams out. By the end of the manga, you can really tell how Jeremy has been completely robbed of initially happy self in the beginning chapters, and that he can never go back to who he was. After all, this is something that continuously and slowly kills him.

*Also, I must add, if you're specifically looking for a yaoi/shounen-ai manga, then this might not be for you. I'd say the focus is primarily on the tragedy that occurs to Jeremy and mystery/suspense, with the main shounen-ai pairing emerging in the later half of the series.

Ending: Yes, there is no real ending. The manga simply cuts off..Nothing has been resolved between Ian and Jeremy. However, I felt that this kind of ending was well-suited for the manga. It sorta implies that "well, life goes on.." Jeremy will never heal from the pain he's gone through. However, with time he'll slowly learn to cope more although the pain and memories will never go away. And even if Ian and Jeremy don't define their relationship, and though they might drift apart, they'll always share their special bond which will revive each time they reunite.

... Last updated on April 6th, 2014, 3:28am

I absolutely adore the 1970s style art (despite being made in the 90s), & I genuinely enjoyed the first half, & that part I do recommend reading, but it all went downhill in the second half....Well, it was more like a roller-coaster of intrigue & annoying gobs of emotional baggage & useless banter.

I could never get past the fact that I really can't stand Jeremy as a person; even before his train of life-changing tragedy left the station, he rubbed me the wrong way & I only grew to dislike him more & more as the series progressed. I can't help it if we have polar opposite personalities or if I have the emotional range of a sea sponge.

It also has a non-ending. It's not tragic, happy, or a cliffhanger. There is also, in the last quarter of the story, an ungodly amount of inane chitchat/small talk that contributed nothing to the story or character development, like talking about the weather & what have you. I could tell you the 2ed half was about a group of rich people with relationship problems touring the world & talking about college, it would be right on the mark.

So the ending was unforgivably lackluster, as if the author herself didn't know how to end it & just said "whatever, I'm done with this." Much like GetBackers, Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, & Zetsuai/Bronze; all really long stories that took years to read, the ending was like a crushing blow, an act of betrayal, a stab in the back; it smothers all the good memories.

... Last updated on April 4th, 2014, 6:09am

WARNING!!! THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS! MAJOR SPOILER ALERT.
This manga was sadly all too familiar to me.The author did an excellent job with the realistic depiction of Jeremy's situation, and while I won't bore you with a sob story of my adolescent youth, I will admit that I, too, was a victim of physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse from my mother's second spouse and his daughter. Many things (the courtship of the mother, the two faced step-father, the manipulation of Jeremy, the insistence of love, etc.) paralleled my own life experiences.At times while I read I felt sick, and sometimes I wanted to cry but I could not turn away. I must say that I am not a fan of the art. It's not especially aesthetically pleasing, though the artist has their own style and the content of the story far outweighs my dislike for the art.

As far as the physical abuse being "too long" for 400 pages... those 400 pages might have taken 2 hours to read though - try living through it for 6 years.

... Last updated on December 3rd, 2013, 12:25am

This series is very disturbing, but it is also one of the best series I have read so far. The mangaka does not shy away from depicting the abuse and the psychological consequences of it, so it is not for the faint hearted. However, the realistic and detailed way of depicting it is also what makes this story such a good read. It is really impressive, and it leaves you numb and raw from emotion after reading it.

The most special thing about this story is the psychology behind it. At first, I expected the story to start after the actual abuse, but the author shows the abuse from start to finish in 36 chapters. Many people in this comment thread find this long, but I found this necessary to accurately depict the psychology behind it. It depicts how Jeremy is influenced by the abuse, how he deals with it, the distress signals he sends out to his environment, and how everybody in his environment either fails to pick up the signals or chooses to ignore it. This is very realistic, as often in the case of an abusive father the mother chooses to ignore the evidence, or people don't want to believe someone (of good reputation) would actually do such a cruel thing. It is very disturbing, but the accuracy of the depiction is also stunning.

I also like the way the author depicts the interplay between Jeremy and Ian after the murder.


The story is almost fully translated by now (up to chapter 84), I am curious about the ending. I would recommend this series to other people, but only if you can digest it's disturbing content.

If you're in the mood for emotional torture and depressing tearjerker, you're at the right place.

What this story offers is pure tragedy. Exactly the kind of shit can possible happen to people out of blue. How everything will not go the way you want. Ever. What happens to the protagonist is the worst case scenario, and trust me on this, this happens in the world everyday.

The way characters interact is so realistic; how they try to reason, deny, and find solutions to the problems. Their flaws makes them humane and at the same time, makes them extremely frustrating to follow. It gives them depths.

I, for one, would like to read it till the end to see how to author wrap this story up. It's a heavy one to read, but it is worth the time.

... Last updated on July 28th, 2013, 1:45am

I don't think you have the right to belittle Hagio Motos work. The slowly progress of the story makes sense. I'm sure the author wanted to show us how Jeremy changed over time and how much he had to suffer, so we can understand his character and his development, even though it's a very tragic and painful read. Some people enjoy reading disgusting things. Yeah, maybe you're right and it belongs more in the horror genre.

But I seriously don't think it's true that Hagio Moto draws the abuse scenes every 10 pages. If it is true than I cannot remember it. And to be honest I don't remember ANY of the rape scenes in detail. So hopefully I'm not a psychopath, who admires how children get abused. I read this because it is the most interesting story I ever come across and that's not because it is about child abuse. Hagio Moto is a very talented storyteller. You just want to know what happens next.

If you cannot appreciate her work, well, that's fine. But to bash it this way...

^ I am entitled to my opinion. As it is rightly based on what I read and felt, so perhaps it is worthwhile to respect another person's thoughts, even though it might differ from yours.
I was driven to write my comment after reading 6 volumes will tone down a few things I said, but I maintain my stance on this title.
Last thing: I was only commenting on this manga and not the mangaka or her skills per se! Please keep that in mind.

Oh and this manga did not give me anything worthwhile in the long...or short run, so I don't recommend it.

People like this book because they may think it is touching some "deep" topics.
It's not "deep", if deep means something that is valuable to your growth as a human being. The things depicted in this manga is criminal, and you can only look at it with a sense of horror. (and obviously from that you can assume my position of reading some horrors too. Though I think a horror here and there won't kill you - but seriously, six books of it?). I will explain what I mean.

You can say it simply belongs to the "horror" genre or "tragedy" genre...but does categorising the "genre" justify writing six graphic books about a fictional child's destructive pain?
Six volumes, just the same things happening to the character again and again and again.
And yes, there are a lot of scenes of abuse.

You can argue that it raises awareness to the horror that child abuse is, but more than 400 pages of it is going too far. Awareness to child abuse is different from prolonged depiction of it for the sake of profit - which is what this manga was published for - money, selling a book that depicts graphic images of child abuse for profit?

I guess I would say the same for hentai and other published material that demean the value and worth of a human being, so if any one who is reading this is a supporter of absolutely no boundaries in published material, then they would not agree with anything I say.
(Flicking through the pages now to see when the prolonged abuse will end. Just waiting to see something different, hopefully, from the past 400+ pages.)

Perhaps the main reason that this disagreed with me was the extent that it related to real life, and to make money out of drawing abuse for entertainment? I think contemplating on the age group who has access to this manga also bugs me. It is potentially desensitizing (as are some horror genres) on the true pain that real people feel after going through traumatic experiences. People write novels about their own lives and recovery from abuse, but how old are the typical readers of those books compared to those reading this manga?

... Last updated on September 23rd, 2013, 8:28am

I admire the author because she understands the feelings and actions of people so well. I see myself in this manga, the feelings are described so well, that's exactly what it feels like... her story telling is good but it gets quite messy sometimes. Despite that, you can't help but 'feel' the characters, you can feel their pain, anger... all sort of emotions are conveyed..

Really, I cannot praise this enough. It is heartbreakingly sad, and disturbingly realistic, in its portrayal of Jeremy as a young, naive victim, and Ian as a well-meaning but completely out-of-his-depth supporter.

People who complain that it is too angsty, too heavy, or that the actions of the characters were cowardly or nonsensical simply do not understand what it is like to be abused and completely powerless to stop it. It is actually quite insulting to suggest that Jeremy's behaviour is overly dramatically or irrational given the depth of the trauma he has, and I can only attribute such callousness to the sickening frequency with which "rape = love" is used as a plot device in yaoi manga, because in real life, abuse victims act like Jeremy. Not always, but a damn sight more often than the all-too-commonly-seen yaoi reaction of "You raped me, and I felt violated and ashamed, but now you told me you love me I understand and forgive you. Let's be together forever! And sure you can ostracise me from all my friends and family, because you love me." This is a serious manga, and such reactions should never be taken seriously. If this bothers you, don't read this manga.

Jeremy's downward spiral is very authentic. He is a young boy who has grown up with a suicidal mother pushing all her burdens onto a small child (think about it, she woke him up in the middle of the night when he was 10 years old to show him her slit wrists for Heaven's sake!). His father has died, so he alone became responsible for keeping his mother on track, even calling her Sandra to sound less like a son. When Greg comes along, he is dealing with all this and going through the generally painful teenage years. He is told "sleep with me or your mother will die", and when he refuses, Greg breaks up with his mother who promptly tries to kill herself again. So he does. This is just the first example of how Greg, ever so skilfully and slowly managed to box Jeremy into a corner until speaking out becomes impossible, finding help is unthinkable, and running away would be akin to murdering his own mother. Greg is very practised at exercising his domination and sadistic abuse over his victims in such a way that he holds their weakness and they feel compelled to keep silent.

On top of all this, he is in a new country, with a new school and new family, so he has absolutely no one to rely on, no one who knows him well enough to recognise the warning signs bar his mother, who is too screwed herself to actually be a good mother to her son and admit that the man she loves is abusing him. The new family around Jeremy isn't of help because how are they to know that he has become withdrawn when they only met him after the abuse started? Besides, Greg has managed to psychologically screw with everyone in the household in some way so they believe every word he says and follow him despite knowing how violent he can be. After everything he goes through Jeremy is shattered emotionally, and can only deal with the trauma by repeating it (a very common phenomenon actually). Cue Ian's clumsy attempts to heal wounds he cannot possibly understand after ripping them wider, and you have a very touching emotional manga.

... Last updated on March 11th, 2014, 9:23am