Is it weird for a 23 year old female to not have any experience in men and not even pass the stage of kissing. I'm not sexually confused or anything. And I belong to the normal female race. Is it weird and uncommon for a 23 year old and older to still be a v*rgin

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"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." <BR> - Albert Einstein

I would think so.
However, I wouldn't think too much into it, I mean if being a v*rgin is a problem and it's preventing you to be happy or making you feel uncomfortable, just lose it right? I mean, I really doubt that having sex is more important that happiness.

P.S: Doesn't this kindda look like a post someone would create being drunk, really drunk?
P.S2: MAYBE, you could talk to your friends (parents would make the conversation really akward) or even a psychologist if you have one, I mean they might be of more help than a Manga Forum

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"Spread your ear-pollution both far and wide" - Billy Squier, The Stroke.

Oh, come on, I think you should value yourself a little more than that. If you don't have a guy at the moment, start looking. Get out into the world more, and be honest about your personality. Take the lead, even, and invite guys you're thinking about out on dates. But don't offer him your body right off the bat, he has to earn you first. If you guys have dated for a while and you've thought it over carefully, you know you guys are both really into each other, then if you both agree, you can go ahead. But keep in mind that some guys may only be after you for your body. You have to make sure that he's staying because of you, not because of s*x. To answer your question, it's not weird that you're still a v*rgin. You may be considered a little late, but does that really matter? It might be uncommon nowadays, but all that really says is most teenagers go around sleeping with their boyfriends and I can't say it's a very good idea. I personally would prefer to wait until after marriage, and I hope to find a guy who agrees. I think that's the best way to find a guy who really loves you. In the end though, it's your decision. If you have any female friends, feel free to talk to them about it. But don't ever, ever feel that your v*rginity is a burden that you need to get rid of ASAP.

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"Everything is okay in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end."

"I'm tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What else do you want; an adorable pancreas?" - Jean Kerr

When I said 'death' before 'dishonor', I meant alphabetically.

Imagine what would happen if there were no more hypothetical situations.

i guess depend on the culture around you.. including the one you yourself follow... it might be consider as weird in one place and might not be at another.

as far as in the U.S., the average age for girls to lose their virginity is 17 (based on a study done in 2007). not sure if this is true, but i've heard recently that around 1/4 of people graduate college without losing their virginity. they would be around the ages of 21-23. so i wouldn't say you're abnormal.

as far as me personally, i'm 24 and in the same boat as you (although i do identify as bi). i used to worry about it, but now i'm not as concerned about it. i've always been a bit of a loner and a misanthrope (btw this doesn't mean a misandrist) so i guess it's to be expected for me.

Edit: I also found a study about how people in the US are starting to wait longer to lose their virginity. "Among those ages 20-24, 12% of women and 13% of men said they were virgins, up from 8% for both sexes in 2002." This was a study for 2006-2008


Last edited by KaoriNite at 8:49 am, Jan 4 2014

Yeah that's not true anymore. It's more like 14/15 now .... (with a recommended age of 10/11 for the S** talk, which even that may be late ... ), but yeah I don't want to talk about the whole young adults (I don't want to say kids) having s**.

Now to the OP.
As mu2020 said it depends on the culture if it would be considered weird, but even then for a woman to lose it at a later age it's not considered weird. (Same for a man, but different thoughts pop up).
and as distraughthallelujah said yes uncommon (at least in the USA, not sure about other places, and seeing that you're not in the US I'm not sure how it's like over there), but it shouldn't be a big issue.
Chayto comment of just lose it .... eh I don't think it was meant to come off the way it did >.> , but if it was a male yeah sure why not go to a bar and settle with anyone ... However as a female your first is memorable, and you don't want to regret picking up some random guy.
(Now before anyone says "not all guys are like that blah blah blah, you're sexist, or you don't know a male's perspective blah blah blah. I'm speaking in terms of well most women think with their hearts, while men think more with their hormones . Not saying guys don't want their 1st to be special, they won't remember their 1st, or are heartless just that, in my experience they don't care as much as females about the 1st. I digress)
but I do understand that comment Chayto made if it bothers you so much do something about it which I think the same about any topic, yes even this one.

Alright female to female - Is it weird? No. I actually know a few (and I mean 2-3) females that are around that age that still haven't done anything sexual.
Is there a hurry because you're 23 and still nothing? No. If anything because you waited so long (by choice, or not) it kind of makes the 1st a bit more special .. like save it for the guy you're going to marry (which I mean for your wedding night). Honestly what guy wouldn't want a virgin bride? (Don't answer this. I can see ups and down to this question, but for the most part it's a yeah I would love a virgin bride).
Should you care? Honestly no, it's not that big of a deal. Don't want to be harsh, but no one cares. No one is thinking I wonder if he or she's done it yet, or wow you're still a virgin? It's more they find out, have a few thought to themselves (or say one or two comments) then forgets about it. They aren't thinking about that every time they see you now.
Last thought- If you do feel really weird about it. A) Do something about it. (whether by some random guy, or try more to get a boyfriend and get that stable relationship. Or B) Grow up a little. If you're having thoughts like this then you aren't ready. At this point in your life you should see that it's something special, know the value of keeping this until it feels right, accept every aspect of yourself. (if you don't like it change it) Again I'm not trying to come off as rude, insensitive, or harsh.

-Sidenote: *sigh* I hope there's no ranting comment against anything I mentioned. It's my perspective, and that seem to be what the OP wanted. Everyone's perspective. Which I understand wanting the perspective of a fellow manga lover. I tend to find I connect better with people who read manga.( or feel comfortable talking to them.)

Last edited by Kitty18dnsz at 9:51 am, Jan 4 2014

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It's really not that weird. I'm a little younger than you but I have never had much interest in dating or having sex with people, even if we're mutually attracted to each other. I like to think about it in the abstract, but in reality there's never really been anybody I felt motivated to, for lack of a better phrase, get with.

As long as you aren't actually hating/afraid of/grossed out by sexual intimacy, which could be something to talk to a therapist about if it concerns you since that's a well-documented phobia/anxiety, it's fine to not have much experience. If you don't have any desire to have a boyfriend then there's no need to feel pressured or weird about it. And if you do want to, uh, get past first base, there's nothing weird about not having much experience either. Finding a nice guy can be hard sometimes, and one you feel comfortable with even more so. You really don't need to justify your virginity either way.

I agree with some of the above posters that this is something that you should maybe talk to some friends about since a manga forum isn't going to help much except for giving some general advice and anecdata.

This thread might be more suited for 18+ forum.

What do you mean by "not sexually confused"? Do you mean that you know your sexual orientation, you're not asexual and have urges, but just haven't done anything?

Some people are just late bloomers. A good friend of mine just lost his virginity at 25! He's gay and he's been to gay strip clubs/bars with me plenty of times so he isn't confused or anything, just a late bloomer. Nothing weird or wrong with that, just rare.

Agreed

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A just ruler amongst tyrants

I'm not really bothered if i'm still inexperience despite my age.
I'm just a bit curious on how many cases out there are the same as me.
Thanks for all your comments though

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"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." <BR> - Albert Einstein

just wondering if you know the study that said the average age has dropped to 14/15. not saying it isn't true, just that seems like a pretty big drop in only 7 years.

Beats me. I think it's kinda cute though. I am kinda scared of women's sexuality anyway. It feels like a biological weapon that aims to cause me mental trauma. For men it's a bit harder to be virgin, since there's so much pride invested in the whole culture of persuading your prey into submitting to you thing, that in the end, it's not a totally consensual thing, but you need to win a woman over and destroy her doubts.


Kitty18dnsz, I think you miss the point of men when it comes to virginity. It's not all about hormones. It's way more about cultural expectations. That goes both ways too. It's not that women are mentally special in any way when it comes to getting or giving the bone. It's a cultural thing, since you're taught to be something like a grail or a precious flower or a holy temple or some shit like that or whatever you read if shoujo manga, books with Fabio in the cover or any fairy tale ever written. Some women are willing, some aren't interested at all. Most men are, yeah, since that's something they're really expected to do if they want to be worthy of some pride, but you might feel conflicted about it regardless. I am generally really bad with women for example. I don't really trust people. I have horrible experiences of human behavior, especially when people don't think straight, romance and lust both being good sports for being half blind. Sometimes I feel like smashing people's skulls when they behave against everything they'd stand for if they didn't have sudden ulterior motives. I am just another guy when it comes to sexuality, although I wouldn't share my fetishes with my friends, but I think it's my own thing and hunting for women for me feels like flashing in public most of the time. I can do both, but I feel really bothered by both mentally, even though it's physically not hard. Not every woman likes your approaches either, so you really might have to roam every corner to get through, which honestly to me appears really desperate and inglorious. I hate doing anything like that, kneeling like a beggar. I do sometimes feel conflicted even with this fact, as I can't really share the view point or ideals with my peers, as I don't feel at home with it at all, but I don't really feel at home with a crowd of neckbeards that totally neglect their interest in women and aim for wizardry or something. I am not mad, mangry, don't own a fedora or anything, just think that you've skimmed past some thought processes with wrongly adjusted default settings. Men and women work like they do, but it's not really only a hormonal thing in our society or any other. Getting laid is fairly easy, but if you want to make it really easy on yourself, you might regret something or feel like a total idiot later on, not because of the sex itself, maybe even for that, but because you weren't in it as yourself or you had to cut corners.


I am also kind of caught up in that whole pure virginity bullshit, not because I think it is saintly or holy or anything, but because I don't feel comfortable with other people's sexuality. Some people are a bit more vulnerable to intimacy than others and don't really like putting their guard down. I don't mind talking to people for the sake of talking, but I feel really weird if I am a game. If you don't need to face other people's sexual life, you don't need to feel out of place. At this age avoiding it is pretty hard when people are still young enough to want their partners or are students with loose butt holes etc. I just don't want to know, see or hear anything like that involving others and even when it is about me, there's another person to that too, who I might really feel uncomfortable with if I don't completely trust them. If you have to temporarily kill your mind to meet some expectations, I feel that's like you're betraying yourself. If something is really uncomfortable, it's better to not force it until you are mentally prepared to follow it properly through and finishing without any remorse. That's at least how I'd reason it. Not necessarily how I feel, since if you have a lot of pride, you might already be ashamed of not being sexually active like you'd dropped out of youth.

Man, I just spent an hour on this shit, sorry for the rant, just my two cents or a cheque.

Last edited by Mamsmilk at 8:32 pm, Jan 4 2014

Got this from a study? No.
However I'm not really sure how accurate those kinds of studies can be. There's a lot of variables, and also the possibility that someone lied about the age (either made it higher or lower).

This is purely from me talking to people. I talk to a lot of people, and tend to ask personal questions.
Adding all that talk and things I've heard from others lead me to that answer of 14/15 which after thinking about it, it should probably just be 15. I would agree that in 2007 17 was the average age, but from what I've seen it's been dropping.
(Maybe this is due to the area I live in that's effecting what number I believe to be true. Which region is one of those variables I mention above).
*sigh* my high school really was filled with ... active people (being nice here). (yes my number doesn't just come from people I knew in HS).



Knew something like this would happen >.>
My defaults for men are .... wacky (for lack of a better word). I kind of blame it on that "you can't trust guys, all they think about is sex" (along with other horrible things) upbringing combine that with the news, and the lifetime channel (really that channel does not paint men well, or at least during the time that I watched it) Oh and things that happened in my own family didn't help either.
Hence my comment of "Now before anyone says "not all guys are like that ..." I tried to say there that what I had said for men in general may not be as true as I think, or that there are expects. (or at least that's what I meant).
I will admit the way I think of men is messed up, and I've been changing it over time (to what I believe to be more true), but in the end it's still messed up.
(Sorry all guys out there for defaulting you in such a bad light. I do however change that bad light quickly when I get to know someone.) Hmmm maybe region also took effect on this too. (My perspective is messed up ....)
Yes I may have miss the point of men when it comes to virginity.

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I should proof read my comments more, but I won't...
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All people and genders think about sex, some just try to hide it from themselves or it is subconscious. Women are more often tormented by sexual shame than men, that's why stuff like slut shaming exists for women, but not really for men. Expectations of who you should be differ from who you are on that sector. Now that I think about it, maybe you aren't wrong about men, but are in fact wrong about women and women being equally sex hungry carnal sluts is actually the natural state and the pristine angel or dad's little princess images are the actual perversions of reality here. Well, shrug that. I am not saying you can't think that way about men, just that even if men act the way they do, they might not be totally okay with that by default, but can't face not doing anything about it.

I agree studies aren't always the most accurate, but they are usually done anonymously. There's less incentive to lie on a piece of paper than there is to lie to someone's face. Especially when people are worried about being judged. That's why I generally trust the stats more. There's also a lot of conservative religious people in the U.S. Though most aren't waiting until they are married anymore, I think shame and guilt leads to them waiting longer before having sex.



i know there's plenty of guys like this out there, and i'm not accusing you of being like this, but i just had to point out how disturbing it is to talk about manipulating women (i'm assuming since its not "totally consensual" that there is some manipulation taking place. i'm also assuming that in this case its not going as far as date rape). i know women manipulate men too, i just wish people thought it was sexier to be with someone who is totally into them and is eager to say yes, rather than thinking of it as a game where you have to convince someone who is initially unwilling or unsure